speaking of hearing and not hearing, the other day i was having my dinner at suntec and you know how it is when you eat alone -- you just look all around you because there's nothing to distract you with. there was this table diagonally in front of me with three women, all deaf and communicating in sign language, and i was desperately trying not to stare because that'd seem very rude. but it was really interesting, because when they were "talking" to each other they really put full attention on whoever it was who was "speaking", and i just thought that it's so ironic that they're actually the best listeners of all. when other people are talking to us normally we'll avoid eye contact (okay that's what i do anyway, i'm just weird that way), or busy ourselves with other things as well. deaf people can't do that, because they have to look at the person to know what that other person is trying to communicate. seeing that really makes me want to do just that from now on, and really listen when people are talking to me. not that i don't listen to people talk, it's just that i'm guilty of tuning out sometimes especially when i have other stuff on my mind or when whatever is being said isn't exactly something i agree with. i'm selfish that way i guess.
*patpat* if you're reading this mich i'm damn proud of you. isn't that maybe part of the reason why so many of us blog-- we fear eye contact, but here eye contact is buffered by a screen; we are not listened to, but here we are given full and free rein-- and we don't know if we ARE interrupted. so ignorance is bliss, huh.
i'm an avid fan of blog-reading. i should learn to become an avid fan of properly listening, too.
on another note: FARE THEE WELL AYG. it's actually been better than i expected, for all that the girls had to wear costumes that made us look like spock's best friend and the guys had to wear 50s karaoke lounge outfits (too bad there wasn't the hair to go with it). sartorial superficiality aside, i've had a lot of fun (except when ellen and pearl kept BEATING me. WTHHHH.)
for me the end has almost always been merely a reason for the means: to grow as a dancer, to dance day and night, to watch the entire thing taking shape and coming together-- like the slow unfolding of night to dawn.
i've heard a number of people say they want to dance because they love performing. but i don't love performing-- i love the road it takes to get there. the performance at the end of it all is just icing on the cake-- it'd better be there for aesthetic purposes and to ooh and aah over, but even if it's not it won't take away the fact that you HAVE your cake and you can eat it too. actually it's already a part of you-- because that's how much the preparations have changed and tempered you.
also, if you live just for performing-- what happens when there is no audience there to watch? will you continue dancing? i remember chun posting something like this on facebook. she'll continue dancing for god, and for religion; i don't know what i'll continue for, but i know that i will.
so i didn't really care very much about whether the camera captured us or not and i couldn't understand at all the humongous grumbles and grouses in the dressing room. whatever la. we got to dance :)