in his own words-- not verbatim, which would have been so much more heartfelt and inspiring, but as best as faulty human memory can recall:
"if you're serious about dance, if you really want to make dance your career, i can tell you that less than half of you here will be able to make it. there will always be things in the way-- work, studies, shows you cannot do. there will always be people telling you to do something else... but all you have to do is to keep on dancing, keep on believing. you'll eventually find the kind of shows you can do, the style that fits you...
some of you might know-- last year was a very bad year for me; my mother passed away in february. for every performance and every show she'd always been there, lending her support and cheering for me. she was always there, you know? i nearly stopped dancing-- but i didn't. now whenever i dance it still feels like she's there watching.
so if that happens to you-- if something bad were to ever happen to you-- don't stop dancing."
- alvin de castro, danz people open house, 13/6/2009
and when he started dancing it was almost as if there really was someone else watching, apart from all of us there. and it was beautiful, and rather embarrassingly i wept like a baby; then lina and joo teng's duet was up next, and brace myself as i would (i knew it was coming, didn't i) the line "one more smile on your face" affected me in equal if not greater measure than at emcc.
i'm irritated that i cannot remember his exact words. and he definitely said more. sigh. but that-- that was one of the most memorable, if painful, segments of the whole night at the open house :)
coke show was ker-rap-- i've never liked coke anyway, and i'm not sure how much publicity we DID generate for them, and GOSH i'd forgotten how irritating filming and NGs are. except that for every take for the stupid music video they wouldn't say "Cut, no good"-- they'd say GOOD, but then ask for ONE MORE TIME. damn waste time zzz in the end we missed clare's class at pomo and got coke sprayed all over us by over-exuberant fellow extras. and we didn't get overtime pay!! but ohkay i guess hanging out with all the blastards was pretty darn fun :):)
pomo classes were incredibly crowded but good exposure, nevertheless, although we only got to attend 4 classes (DARN YOU stupid coke organiser)-- i really really like kate willis' strength and sharpness in her choreo, which erwin SLAYED. seriously. alex's was fun (WHEE he's taking over class this thurs or leastways that's what adelene said) but i really wish i could have caught the steps properly; i liked pat's choreo the most but obviously had trouble with it as usual bleh. mornin's choreo had very simple steps, but i guess it was all a matter of adding your own flava/groove/whatever. some people (e.g. the brother-in-law. HAHA) did it successfully; others (like boxer-boy) were major epic fails. ok maybe just boxer-boy. SERIOUSLY WHAT'S HIS GAY PROBLEM. i'm still fuming about his creepiness and the fact that he basically strolled into class without paying and then proceeded to make a heckuva lot of noise and irritate the living daylights out of everyone around him. bastard.
whatever. mwahaha oh yes i love love love mornin's substitute nickname for thomas. HAHAHAHAH :D shutting up.
finally before the performance tracy, brian and i dragged poor starving michelle rose and shingyeen who had eaten absolutely nothing to ishi mura for the long-promised omu raisu! very yummy :) but it did mean that we had to squish into a rather packed studio for the open house performance. all worth it, right down to the throat-that-hurts-every-time-i-swallow-due-to-overenthusiastic-cheering. ahmad's group was insanely tight and karen was amazing-- expressions, strength, sheer musicality-- at some points she definitely shone even more than lina and winnie...! i don't think the cheers for that group ever stopped coming. xiao's lyrical hip hop was wonderful also-- brilliant save of another fallen-off cap, but later in the PA item tracy and i both realised that when his own cap fell off it kind of threw him off for a bit, which was a pity because he'd been completely in the zone just moments before. as always lina and becky were great to watch-- i really can't get over how they managed to sync their grooves so very much, then in something as small as switching the position of their hands suddenly their own styles shine through, and yet it doesn't detract from the unity of the dance at all. i think the length of the day kind of took its toll, though, because in the starting items especially you could see that they were tired-- rebecca didn't fully have her explosiveness, and her smile had just a hint of contrivance about it, and lina also seemed a tad subdued. oh but they more than made up for it later in the PA item-- which was great fun to watch because we never stopped cheering :D
to quote, "pat's damn high tonight"-- apparently heineken side-effects heh. after the whole performance was over and we were getting up to leave i got the shock of my life (okay maybe the night) when he suddenly bustled over-- yes, BUSTLED-- and said "thanks for coming, come here again soon" or i hope to see you here soon or SOMETHING to that effect la-- and then plucked my bottle out of my right hand and shook it (my hand, not the bottle, don't be silly) very heartily. eh?? i must have looked incredibly stunned/non-plussed because he looked kind of aggrieved and then went off to talk to candy instead whooops.
but whatever. i think clare and pat are very sweet together by the way hehe the way they interact with each other...!! and the age difference is not glaring la. can sense an affinity between them. (of course we all sensed more affinities than that sole one tonight... HEHEHE)
saw karen while we were milling about too and after dithering for a LONG while i went up to say hi. i think it was darn obvious that she didn't remember me-- or if she does she remembers me as some sort of half-crazed fangirl or something-- for all that she said "of course i remember you!". but ok i think she DOES know that i'm one of her ex-students. i think. HMMS.
went off with soolen+elzey & thomas & derek & marcus (?) to visit yuko at work after the buffet dinner whee. the darling girl obligingly gave me a glass of green tea instead of beer and then we all played highly amusing and completely random card games HAHA. ok now i need to go and drink more water because my throat really, REALLY, really hurts (except i think it's not going to help because i've downed 2litres of water since classes ended {yes, i counted, i bought the water from cold storage}). and do mid-night housecleaning now now now because there's a heckuva lot of dust on the table YUCKS.
both wide awake and dreaming
of yesterday
p.s. one last note, though... beauty is from the inside, and if someone (someones) cannot appreciate it-- their loss. REALLY. it doesn't and shouldn't affect your self-worth, and YES-- i think you're beautiful the way you are. :) tlc lyrics!
you can buy your hair if it won't grow,
you can fix your nose if he says so
you can buy all the makeup that MAC can make
but if you can't look inside you---- don't let them be in a position to make you feel unpretty.