i still like it though. and i still think trinity is hawt. michelle and i took the chance to sign up for friday's hip hop as well; which means tuesday and the weekend will be the only days i didn't/don't dance this week. HMMMS. wouldn't i love to go for a weekend class, but i strongly suspect my saturday and sunday all-nighters-to-be are going to leave me a little worse for wear. now i won't even have ning's company on saturday because she has decided to drop out! oh well. will self-entertain. it'd better finish at 7am.
and as for sunday night/monday morning-- *&#%*$##&&@#$ at 4am flights!
aunt cecilia brought over dumplings my paternal grandma made, along with a separate bag of specially made vegetarian ones. every time i feel certain that my paternal grandparents particularly/secretly dislike me they do something like this. the one i ate for dinner was especially delicious, laced with the heady tang of guilt and self-reproach as it was.
had quite an entertaining ride from ucc to city hall; alvan fetched us in his illegal-workers-van (hahaha "pimp my al-Van") with the usual musical mashups; incidentally his hair has grown taller, but he has not. HEH. age makes us warier; i kept thinking someone would fall out of the van, but sitting here typing this i rmb when my siblings and my cousins and i would all clamour to bounce along in my uncle's open lorry-bed, seatbelt-free and hair streaming in the wind, the orange glow of streetlamps flashing past in aureoles of radiance so akin to calm fire that it seemed impossible for them not to carry and transmit heat.
(random: who did i fetch that time who stood up and tried to climb out of the car eh. ok la maybe just stood up. )
ellen and yuko were very good company; i'm glad i waited for them although haha i am a kan cheong spider about being late for class. we split at city hall after they failed to entice me to go to o school, whereupon i saw jesmine and lent her my phone. in any case i wasn't late! met michelle in plenty of time to chat a little before class. sometimes i wonder at how i tell her things that i would find impossible to spill to anyone else. maybe it's the sympathy of being in similar situations; maybe it's just an inexplicable bond from being one of the suad quintuplets haha.
cheshire cat moon smiled at me tonight :)
sundries and the laundry list
1. lily lee is doing a research project on erotomania:
Erotomania is a rare type of delusion in which the subject believes that another person is in love with him or her. The patient believes that this other person was the first to declare his or her affection, often by special glances, signals, telepathy, or messages through the media. Usually the patient then “returns” this affection by means of letters, phone calls, gifts, and visits to the confused recipient.[1] The illness is often observed as a secondary disorder in patients with schizophrenia or bipolar mania.[2]
we laughed for ages at this BECAUSE WE IDENTIFIED SOMEONE who probably has it. i swear. it's a long story but it was my fault that the someone managed to access the "confused recipient". i still feel bad. anyway karma strikes: i'll probably be afflicted with it. HUR. eh xf i BET "you wasted so much time!"= erotomania.
2. announcement courtesy of my mother dearest
she wants everyone to know that the caterer for my party actually sucked, and all the good food was actually prepared by family. examples include her very prideworthy chicken wings (i wouldn't know, i didn't eat them. heck i don't think i smelled them), my aunt's fruit salad and the tapioca thing which was a neighbour's contribution. oh-- and the fishballs. and-- the veg dumplings. and-- AIYAH you get it la.
3. things i've typed but not posted here
random thoughts on internship
thursday
our sort-of-mentor sort of directed us to realise that the crux of all our disagreements and discussions, ideological and otherwise, over the past few days could all be boiled down to one essential point: our own gut instinct of what is fair, or not. he said that perhaps what sets lawyers apart, or the reason why we become lawyers in the first place (he is obviously taking a positive view of the matter that has nothing to do with the five-figure monthly sum junior partners apparently receive, or the "law degree=backup" mentality), is that we feel this sense of fairness so acutely.
question: do we? does that set us apart from the ordinary man in the street? surely not-- surely a sense of injustice or a strong instinct of what is right or wrong prepossesses people who do not become lawyers. and come on don't tell me david rasif had a strong sense of justice ingrained in him, or even whatshisname-- the "cluny road car park" guy haha seriously dude you earn how many hundreds of thousands a year. get a room already. and preferably don't hit on your client while you're at it.
then he asked-- not cluny road car park guy, but the person who'd been talking to us-- what we thought created that sense of fairness, that inherent need to do right by the parties in a dispute-- the principle behind it, so to speak. it's a principle that differs from person to person, and you need to find it on your own-- to make it make sense to you. it's something you have to reason out on your own before you can hope to convince anyone of it, and it can be the motive force behind why you are a lawyer and what area of the law you practice ultimately.
i have to think through my theory, it's not exactly tangible. rarr.
also, i have concluded that i have a high pain threshold-- epidermally speaking. basically yesterday after typing away and going up to bathe and sleep-- in the interim of which i threw a bowl of stonecold watercress soup halfway across the kitchen when a lizard leapt out at me from the rubbish bag (%#%^*%$)-- i discovered horrifying marks of coagulated blood on the inside of my bicep. looked like some creature had been gnawing on my arm while i slept or something-- some fairly big creature, since the marks extended over a large area.
horrified, i ransacked my mind for an explanation and realised-- I WAS THE CREATURE. except that i didn't chew on my own arm (i just tried. not the chewing, just to see if i can reach the spot. i can); in a desperate attempt to stay awake during the courtroom hearings i'd poked myself in the arm repeatedly. i still dozed off, but apparently i'd poked harder than i knew hehe. i obviously need to i) cut my nails ii) stop dozing off iii) introduce myself to coffee and be best friends with it or iv) SLEEP, instead of blogging at all hours.
wednesday
today was really a day of heat: apart from unquenchable thirst brought on by superheated water-- there's no water cooler to be had for love or money and i refuse to drink exclusively evian, so we're stuck with boiling temperature water at work-- and sweltering afternoon heat, i also saw kate willis at raffles city during lunch. i didn't recognise her at first cos she wasn't dressed in dance gear but the moment she walked in, bevy of breakers and sunglass-clad stylistas notwithstanding, i was hooked. even sheikh haikel's arrival didn't distract me-- much. ahhh she is hottttt.
maiden studio wu class tonight too, in the form of trinity's reggae-- which tracy and mich were supposed to go for as well, but tracy decided lambert>>> me and michelle booked too late :( didn't regret going at all, though-- i always think reggae is a very rhythmically sexy and feel style, and maybe just incidentally i swear trinity is one kind of hot. like hawwwwwt.
i think potentially lesbian tendencies are showing again. whoops. krystal would be alarmed hahahaha :D
heat also, in the sense that apparently i got into such a heated debate with a certain someone over tea that my fellow interns told me my entire face was red. ohmigosh. please just chalk that up to the fact that i have healthy blood circulation or something and not that i react too emotionally. but that's the issue i always have with discussing things-- sometimes it's so much safer just to stick to inanities, or even if we do get down to discussing things of import beyond shoes and shopping and weather it's usually more acceptable just to skim the surface, to discover the littlest of things we have in common and go away feeling pleased and satisfied that yes we like each other and can get along because we share the same views. but a lot of the time it's not so simple. we may agree in theory, or concur on the techniques to be used-- like not steeplejacking a civil organisation to further what seems an overtly personal agenda that may have been religiously influenced, or not. but when it comes to the substance-- the meat of the matter, if you will-- we may completely differ on things that are incredibly divisive. gay rights. abortion. premarital sex. religion. multi-theism. atheism. politics. and things like these, as ludicrously fitting as it seems (yes, i intended the contradiction), can make or break perfectly pleasant acquaintances or even wonderful friendships. and so many of us veer away from such topics, or never discuss it for fear of incurring another's ire or incapability to understand.
this is not tolerance in a multi-racial multi-religious society. this is escapism. but so what if we speak of such issues, and speak of them in "depth"? will we not find ourselves subject to a homogenising need to speak safely and acceptably so that another will understand, especially driven as we are by GLARING examples of people so fixated by their own views that they cannot or will not see the possibilities of the other side-- so adamant that it becomes repulsive, really? and that is not conviction and a stern adherence to one's ideals-- such extremism becomes political/religious/social fundamentalism, oui?
and so we speak only the accepted words in a carefully demarcated accepted space, bound by imaginary or at least not overtly-present OB markers even in our daily speech. and then, does this not become conformism to the tyranny of the perceived majority?
tuesday
derick and benfoo and kiat yi went out on monday-- in the rain!!-- and bought me a rum and raisin cake on the sly! i felt so bad because i'd even ribbed them a bit about going shopping even more than the girls. AHHH. and they'd called nette the cake adviser to ask if i take rum. haha. nooooo, i did not get drunk. and i did not rlh either, except when they first appeared with the candles and all. i was deathly afraid that it would set off the fire alarm too. haha. but it was v sweet of them :)
this post has overstayed its welcome and its writer's (and probably its readers, if any) attention span. i'm going to leave the last part of it for another day-- if i ever post it. let's see if anything else triggers it.
They told me to take a streetcar named Desire, and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at Elysian Fields