the only time i feel alive anymore.
but i'm a terminal patient, you get what i mean? i could have broken down and screamed my head off in class today because i'm losing it. i can feel it. carmel said for those who really want to improve-- as opposed to those who just want to have fun-- we've got to really control our lines and be sure where our energy is going. then she flicked a glance at me.
as it was i could hardly breathe after class-- i'm that out of shape. the last time i ran was 2 weeks ago, and even then i came back without ever having regained feeling in my fingers or legs (legs, mind you, not toes).
i'm chasing butterflies in the time of winter.
my left hip is still out of joint (pun intended). my right elbow is outta whack after today's waacking workshop (lousy entendre also intended). the headaches that keep hitting me have been diagnosed by my sister the would-be-quack-doctor as "cluster headaches" and apparently are the worst medical pain known to man.
but it's my heart that hurts most and worst of all.
i'm not going to be despondent. i'm going to take wei-an's words to heart and try, try try. what can we do but try, really? so keep the videos coming, people, they're my lifeline.
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in other news, my dad reached indo safely but apparently had nothing to eat but an apple the first night. very reminiscent of khao lak in '04, but at least then he brought granola bars. but of course, no one can expect anything more in such conditions.
also my sister tells me his team has found survivors. i hope they find more.
Oph. 'Tis brief, my lord.
Ham. As woman's love.
Woman's love? Really? Hamlet, think harder.