my tuesday epiphany, taken from my sister's blog:
speaking of hearing and not hearing, the other day i was having my dinner at suntec and you know how it is when you eat alone -- you just look all around you because there's nothing to distract you with. there was this table diagonally in front of me with three women, all deaf and communicating in sign language, and i was desperately trying not to stare because that'd seem very rude. but it was really interesting, because when they were "talking" to each other they really put full attention on whoever it was who was "speaking", and i just thought that it's so ironic that they're actually the best listeners of all. when other people are talking to us normally we'll avoid eye contact (okay that's what i do anyway, i'm just weird that way), or busy ourselves with other things as well. deaf people can't do that, because they have to look at the person to know what that other person is trying to communicate. seeing that really makes me want to do just that from now on, and really listen when people are talking to me. not that i don't listen to people talk, it's just that i'm guilty of tuning out sometimes especially when i have other stuff on my mind or when whatever is being said isn't exactly something i agree with. i'm selfish that way i guess.

*patpat* if you're reading this mich i'm damn proud of you. isn't that maybe part of the reason why so many of us blog-- we fear eye contact, but here eye contact is buffered by a screen; we are not listened to, but here we are given full and free rein-- and we don't know if we ARE interrupted. so ignorance is bliss, huh.

i'm an avid fan of blog-reading. i should learn to become an avid fan of properly listening, too.

on another note: FARE THEE WELL AYG. it's actually been better than i expected, for all that the girls had to wear costumes that made us look like spock's best friend and the guys had to wear 50s karaoke lounge outfits (too bad there wasn't the hair to go with it). sartorial superficiality aside, i've had a lot of fun (except when ellen and pearl kept BEATING me. WTHHHH.)



for me the end has almost always been merely a reason for the means: to grow as a dancer, to dance day and night, to watch the entire thing taking shape and coming together-- like the slow unfolding of night to dawn.

i've heard a number of people say they want to dance because they love performing. but i don't love performing-- i love the road it takes to get there. the performance at the end of it all is just icing on the cake-- it'd better be there for aesthetic purposes and to ooh and aah over, but even if it's not it won't take away the fact that you HAVE your cake and you can eat it too. actually it's already a part of you-- because that's how much the preparations have changed and tempered you.

also, if you live just for performing-- what happens when there is no audience there to watch? will you continue dancing? i remember chun posting something like this on facebook. she'll continue dancing for god, and for religion; i don't know what i'll continue for, but i know that i will.

so i didn't really care very much about whether the camera captured us or not and i couldn't understand at all the humongous grumbles and grouses in the dressing room. whatever la. we got to dance :)
Posted at 11:17 AM

p.s. shopping with my brother is VERY weird. very very weird. and when i mimed "i can't remember but it's alright, alright, just dance" at him (stupid game to pass travelling time) he interpreted it as "er... your head is good?"

we also saw a ton of people with more tattoos than even i the profligate skin-ink prodigal could ever want-- and i swear one of them must have been all of 15 or something she looked so TINY. speaking of tattoos, here's an example of one of the WORST ever:




This is Heather’s Twilight tattoo. Heather is a YA librarian who says that “this line embodies the spirit of all the books”.

http://www.contrariwise.org/2009/06/28/and-so-the-lion-fell-in-love-with-the-lamb/


good. lord. aren't librarians supposed to be smarter than that. you ink emily dickinson or vonnegut on your skin, not STEPHENIE MEYER. what the hell kind of books have you been reading, woman.
Posted at 2:07 AM

all down the streets in shadows and light
she dogged my steps today
down all the winding paths of depths and of height
she waited to have her say

i remember the girl who called her friend at some ungodly hour in the am, sick with fear and worry, trying to get her to find out if he was ok. and he was, then, but it wasn't enough. not nearly enough, in the long run.

it's not like i don't know how futile gestures are, but some rituals are important. to paraphrase an eisenic quote (no, i didn't manage to find it in the end-- sorry! :S)-- we shouldn't be trapped by our histories, but nothing stops us from learning from our past.

and so i learn, or learnt: being concerned is not enough. sometimes we have to act on that concern-- act more, as it were. kind of explains the person i am today. far better be it to fall than never to have tried to fly at all-- or to have let even one other person fall.
__________________________________________________________________________________
on monday i heard a song at 4am after skyping random ang and her pet monkey (who has incidentally the BLUEST eyes, ever) and froze. i didn't sleep the rest of the night.
Oh there's no comprehending and who am i to try to judge or explain
But I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasnt worth the fight
They were wrong
They lied
Now you're gone and we cry
Its just not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song
___________________________________________________________________________________
tbg was pretty good fun if a little long; yuko fangirled like MAD next to me the whole night, and i can safely say i outdid her only when yokoi took the stage hurhur. fairly successful eyeballing of her sugarrrr though. ellen got cold halfway through the performance-- as did soozey, but he had the benefit of his gray hoodie and so went about looking like a serial killer the rest of the night-- so she got to experience the magical properties of my thinner-than-paper-but-warmer-than-wool jacket-vest-thingy. it looks and feels like it fell from the luggage of scheherezade as she made her way to her marbled prisons of the arabian palaces, and thus small wonder that such unnatural properties may be ascribed to it. i nearly burned to death in it walking home (beautiful cloudy yellow crescent!).

the hongkong and japanese teams were very good-- yuko christened the former "the sfb of HK" (hot hot hot) and wco converted even me for a few minutes to marvel at popping and locking-- never my favourite genres. a little uncomfortable with how closely sfb's click, click, click routine mirrored nick demoura's, but well if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... and anyway they were good :), and i thought the ending MJ banner was a VERY very very nice touch. cool mint is insane and insanely popular. hearts o crew for the incredible amount of effort they put in, and thinks gin is beyond spectacular. danz people's piece REALLY stood out-- it's just so incredibly different from so many of the other items. overdose of popping and locking, really.

p.s. yuko seems happy with her present :):):) and to suntec i shall journey to check out wildhibiscus! soon. before work starts )(^%$##$%^*&%$#@
____________________________________________________________________________________
finally booked and paid for sweden tickets; dad thinks i'm mad because i insist on going for a last blast class before dashing to the airport, but his argument completely supports my point: "(i'll) be away for the next six months!" suddenly everything seems a whole lot more concrete now that we've shelled out 6k for the stupid tickets (yes, despite the most epic of arguments this house has seen for a lonnggg while both my parents are now sweden-bound as well. i gave in just so i could get back to reading my book in peace and quiet). in a way actually i am glad that they are going with me even though i think it's a humongous waste of money. i get homesick on 3-day-2-night camps-- i shudder to think of what the first week in uppsala is going to be like.

leaving more than i know behind.
____________________________________________________________________________________
woke from a dream this morning that i remember only in scraps and pieces. i was happy asleep-- very happy; but when i awoke i was more confused than ever.

i'll keep a part of you with me
and everywhere i go there you'll be


ok off to readddddd. ayg ayg ayg! big groove was inspiring, as thomas said-- the only sense he made all night HAHAHA :P (seriously SPIDER SENSE. and whatever else he was crapping about at the expo. eurgh)-- and the first place to use that inspiration shall be none other than ayg. hurhur.
Posted at 12:45 AM

Taken from contrariwise.org:


“But you can’t give your heart to a wild thing; the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they’re strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree. Then a taller tree. Then the sky. That’s how you’ll end up if you love a wild thing. You’ll end up looking at the sky. But believe me- it’s better to look at the sky than to live there. Such an empty place; so vague. just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear…”

- Excerpt from Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote
Posted at 12:54 AM

no time for a proper entry, but i want to say, still--

GREAT WEEK. :)
even though i came nowhere near my distance target (too achy after thursday to run :(:(:() and living in the midst of 21st century life, i've got twenty-one thousand things that i need to do. ayg pracs became vastly more interesting (baby freezes courtesy of wei an, and a necknumbing rendition of his 'tombstone'/'graveyard' stunt-- whatever it's called, which left us all gaping in horror and reminded me horribly of wwe's undertaker. hurhur. and popping today, but tracy and i were practising steps elsewhere and didn't learn that. p.s. the girl got her shoes!)

dad's back from abu dhabi, with 500 bucks worth of running tops. who runs that much?? oooh and i got MY shoes. yayyy. and he got a canon sx100is as a parting gift; considering however that all the pictures he took in abu dhabi with my camera turned out to be videos instead i'm not sure how much good that's going to do him. HEE.

absolutely adored classes this week. am incredibly sad that i can no longer attend trinity's on wednesday because of busking prac :( kate's was very funny-- "do it for michael! full out for michael!" and her choreo made me find palatable a song i've always considered mildy wretched. adelene's was supremely no-link and unflowy, but good in the sense that it was challenging-- liked the song (nlt's let me know) anyhow. i sincerely hope that her video didn't capture my inadvertent oath of utter and complete frustration at the end.

lovely lovely lovely week. as the goo goo dolls would say, "god it's good to be alive"-- an alive i simply found impossible to believe that MJ no longer is. i think i just realised all over again the finality of this divide-- call as you will, mourn as you will, weep as you will, there is no negotiation or mitigating factor. no law is harsher than that of life and death's. there will be rose and rhododendron..., and all that-- oh, what the heck, good enough to quote more from:
oh, there will pass with your great passing
little of beauty not your own
only the light from common water
only the grace from simple stone.-- edna st. vincent millay. i hope i got it correct, my memory's not the best these days.

wandered down orchard road singing insane songs with brrr-boxer michelle after delightful quiznos sojourn with sullen macchiato and elzey frappe and "too much horseradish!" himbo. something about the girl inspires secret-spilling, or maybe it's the adage: that which is kept in secret grows in power. and i no longer wanted what i told her to have power over me.

argh enough it's evolved into a long winding post. next time next time. may tomorrow's performance be decent! i still need to do something to my slippery shoes, coke doesn't work.

blowing kisses 'cross the hour
Posted at 3:07 AM

i refuse to believe that it is impossible for a guy and a girl to have a purely platonic friendship. it's easy enough: the girl just has to get over whatever mental or emotional hang-ups she has, and the guy just has to get over himself and try not to think that every hand extended in friendship is an attempt to throw hook line and sinker at him in the hopes that he'll bite.

a tad vitriolic? maybe. but i have had it up to here with all the speculation about wh and me. today krystal messaged me after i met her at tanah merah (she'd just sent her bf off at the airport. that is how sweet k haha she stays in BOON LAY) and in the midst of it all told me a "secret"-- basically that the chi high boys had met up and concluded that i secretly liked wh or something. you'd think i'd have gotten used to it, but i can't help but wonder if this time-- well, was that why he acted so strangely at the airport? i would hate for a perfectly decent friendship to go awry and awkward because of such nonsense. honestly, as i told lynette over a (very) late lunch at quiznos (sorry!! :S:S i HATE being late i have to change this around somehow man), life would really be a heck of a lot simpler if a whole bunch of us were just not straight.

i've written this before-- "is it uncool to be passionate about things? if that's the case, then let me be damn hot-- in every sense of the word." i think i carry that passion across into as many aspects of my life as i can, and it's all for the good in some areas. but passion for living can so easily be mistaken as desperation or-- well, just misconstrued.

don't get me wrong, i'm not directing this at anyone in particular-- and definitely not at kelvin whom i think is seriously one of the few guys who's given me a very good impression even though i've only met him like twice (doesn't hurt that his gf is one heck of a wonderful friend :):)). but maybe it's just a thought of not being so quick to assume sometimes? i made that mistake recently and regretted it horribly because i unintentionally and indirectly hurt people whom i don't want to hurt. and so this reminder goes out as much to me as to anyone who bothers to read the lengthy rambles on this blog.

so come on, give me a break-- or not, i don't really care. i'm not going to live my life on anyone else's terms and-- unless you're someone i care about, your views and ideas of whatever i'm doing mean less than nothing to me. and if you knew what i do then the entire idea of me secretly carrying a bleedin' desperate torch for wh is so bleedin' ludicrous i don't even know where to begin. trust me, if i liked you like that you would know it, in no uncertain terms. i learnt too long ago that i'm not good at playing games with the people i truly care for, so i try my best never to play them.


every single girl's anthem (ni! this is that song i told you about at parkway hahah)

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

this is my current single status
my declaration of independence
there's no way i'm tradin' places
right now a star's in the ascendant

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

sheesh okay it's kind of an embarassingly, overtly feminist-independence song, but HEY it's natasha bedingfield (adored her ever since i heard angel and pocketful of sunshine, although love like this and i wanna have your babies were great sources of doubt and omg-you-cannot-be-serious pondering). and its overwroughtness probably characterises the extremes to which i swing.

today was a wonderful day, and made even more lovely because of all the friends' smiles i had surrounding me-- and really i'm not mad at all, i just wanted to get a few thoughts out of my head (i think i need a pensieve, like dumbledore). i love how a simple smile transforms even the most plebian of nights into magical medleys, like my walk back home after meeting krystal for about three minutes at tanah merah. VERY PRETTY she's got oodles of style and i want to rock a hot pink and black ensemble like she does without looking like i'm trying too hard, but i think i'll never make it man;--

but i really, really hate how even though i passed krystal my copy of kazuo ishiguro's never let me go (as much to keep her company on the hour-long-train ride home as to make sure i didn't stay up till three again reading it, like i did last night knowing full well i was supposed to meet lily lee at bedok res at 8), i am still up now. ayg prac's at 8.15 tmr today. the only hotpink-and-black thing i'm going to be rocking is going to the ayg costume/ sore eyes pink from lack of sleep and black, black eyebags. GOODNIGHT WORLD. *will not will not will NOT read pride and prejudice and zombies before sleeping. will NOT*
Posted at 2:21 AM

blisters upon my blisters and one particularly spectacular one upon my right foot, but coupled with the happiness of today perhaps they ought to rightfully be called blissters instead. had been badgering the lovely lizard to go rollerblading with me, and when she suggested iceskating instead i was initially hesitant:
i) i've NEVER iceskated before. ever.
ii) because i have a phobia of iceskating
iii) brought on by stupid tv shows of blades being buried in skulls by overenthusiastic and careless partners doing dangerous stunt spins
iv) and horror stories endlessly related by parents of dad's friend who fell while ice-skating and got sliced up by someone else's blade (mum just clarified-- no he did not get his fingers chopped off as i'd thought all this while. he just got eight stitches about a centimetre away from his right eye).

then i thought-- heck. try something new.

and it was funnnn, aside from the skates stinking like crazy. 'twas only ni's second time on the ice and with no pro guy to guide her this time round we were both left to flounder on our own. couldn't figure out at first why i felt so incredibly insecure-- after all, iceskating is supposed to be sort of like rollerblading, right, and i'd bumbled my way through fifteen-km stints before-- then realised: nothing to break the fall but gloved hands and ice. the noob that i am requires protective padding, damnit!

then i remembered-- falling is an inherent part of flying. when you fly, you merely fall but fail to hit the ground.

i like the kind of second thoughts i've been having. :)


my lovely pot pok (pot pot pot hahaha) who was more concerned about my safety-- "(after i fell) are you okay? anything sprained?"-- and fitness for ayg next week than i was

snow-icing while the ice was being resurfaced. i insist this shot is good :)

this is only going up cos ni took it and thinks it's good. i beg to differ, the subject sucks.

green tea!! :):) still fairly intense but not bitter. i know someone who'd have liked this heh.

ni's-- delightful on a whole different level.

hmms. i wonder if the little boy who was trying to hit on befriend ni was attracted by her snow ice or by her. he was kind of mildly scary and after he started randomly making physical contact we upped and ran away.

"eeeks are you wearing green"-- "what a greeting".

t-shirt and jeans gang! was laughing too hard to stand properly.

miracle of miracles-- escaped more or less unscathed from my splendiferous plunge-and-skids across the ice that elicited a shriek or two from the people around me (look ma, no bruises!).

too short a dinner at nihon mura with ray and ning (successfully cajoled to meet us-- and of all the things to ask me, ning, "how about crabs at ang mo kio??" eight years you've known me already!!); plans for kbox and pool and dxo alllll fell through and ni and i wound up at parkway to finish our thursday errands. unintentionally elicited a few dubious stares-- we were both incredibly sleepy and couldn't stop collapsing over each other haha WHOOPS ok nvm you're my new-old girlfriend. bubble tea and talk before driving back; for some friendships even the most skilled of wordsmiths and writers cannot put into words the incredible feeling of support and strength and love the other person generates for you. i can only hope that i am such a friend in return.

courage, love, courage.

knowing there'll be solid ground below
because i will be your hand to hold
and hell for you's not too much to pay
so what do you say

_______________________________________________________________________




keron - like nobody needs to know says (4:12 AM):
okie
go go
treasure the time you have now

morethanitseems says (4:12 AM):
yea i am


am i?
Posted at 2:57 AM

My job was keep quiet so I watched the Ferris wheel operator do his job. He looked like Gregg Allman. He had a beard and kind, world-weary eyes. He was tanned and blonde and he never cared if we had bracelets or not. He counted extra turns when we were on the wheel and he never made us get off until someone stopped smiling. He wore dirty jeans and a ripped white shirt and he had tattoos from some other life before the one in which you live in a broken-down camper, towed from one small town to the next.

One late night he asked me what I was staring at. I told him the lights were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He walked over to the canopy where the rainbow lights were and he reached up and unscrewed a round red bulb and he brought it over to me and told me I could keep it so I would always remember the fun I had that night. He became a fixture after that, and every year he gave me a different colored bulb that I would collect near the end of my evening. I brought them home and kept them in a cardboard box pushed far underneath the big iron bed with the mattress that sagged in the middle.

-- Saltwater Princess, http://saltwaterprincess.blogspot.com/

i only wish i could write like that-- entries like these keep me going back for more, never mind the ramshackle cascade of pieces of the author's life that never seems to end. in any case even if it's the same old same old it's well-written same old same old, and muffin (you know who you are!) gave me a very timely reminder today that i need to have more patience and not be excessively dismissive of things i think i've seen and heard before. it's been a while, and i've forgotten how much i swore to myself i'd never assume or think lightly of matters without first giving them due weight. never say never, huh. the memory of choosing not to fight

just spent a few moments eyeing a rather large orange spider crawling across my living room floor-- i think it wandered in from the great outdoors mistakenly. go, you, this is not your realm. honestly how do spiders handle (leg-dle...?) eight legs? it's all i can do to keep track of my four limbs. placid as this spider seemed, when i started to nudge it gently towards the door with a newspaper, it LEAPT and scuttled across the floor at an alarming rate. rather disarmingly it was large enough that you could actually hear the click of its legs against the marble as it ran. eeek. eventually it got the idea and clung on to the paper so i could take it outside and release it. i don't kill spiders. they're not my favourite creatures in the world but i go out of my way not to harm them.

now please swipe from your minds the rather silly mental image of some ditz wielding a newspaper scuttling around after a spider. eurgh.



another week draws to a close-- one that's passed more or less in a blur. i enjoyed this week's classes tremendously-- from trinity's "lack-of-vertebrae" reggae to kate's finally-continued choreo (far more enjoyable taught the second time-- i suspect because there were less people in the studio, although i still kept accidentally whacking or stepping on soozey. sorry soozey! :(:( ) to replacement class by alex, for which he taught elliot yamin's don't be afraid and for which about 6 people went zzz. i was happy to recap the choreo, but--! his words: "(the normal choreo) said i could push you guys a bit, so if anything blame her not me". right. he wound up teaching something like 2 eights of a choreo that was at least four times as long, if my memory of saturday's open house serves me correctly. in any case i don't think i'm going to continue this class after the current cycle ends-- i took it up for auld lang syne, but i can't quite feel anything for the choreography even at the best of times. shall save the money for danz people hopefully :)

p.s. although i am not a fangirl i think alex is a wonderfully patient teacher and a very very nice person. and i like the house-ness he incorporates in his choreos (admittedly i've only learnt like 2 of them and seen 3, but still). his smile reminds me of another teacher's, except that other smile was closed and had-- more things hidden.


dance subaru-ed on tuesday with yuko ruisi fred and a non-existent michelle rose who NEVER did show from darkest peru where she was deported haha. movie wasn't that great, although i did like the final dance-- i really think it was the meshing of a brilliant piano quintet with movement and expression that did the trick. there was no storyline behind the dance but the emotion came through anyway. and fred was right the hip hop showdown was bad, although zzz i didn't think too much of the bolero or *cringe* neko dance either.

later that day we crowed over purchases like blue flowers and compact powders and ruisi's red red heart which she inadvertently left on the bus for some lucky casanova. again my high surface-pain threshold kicked in and i didn't notice the terrible blisters i got from my stupid wedges until i got home that night. that's what comes of chasing pipe dreams of yesteryear down avenues and roads and all the highways and byways of open hearts-- blisters and pain. and we were all vulnerable once, but that's the thing about blisters-- their natural successors are calluses and then the world cannot hurt you as readily. and you grow that much stronger for it-- or that much more of a once-bitten-twice-shy wuss, however you want to see it.

hope yuko likes her funkay green heels :)


calluses are no proof against heartstrings though and a half-expressed wish was granted fruition on thursday with jia ni amidst (more! argh) sushi and vanilla sponges and strawberry dreams and sparkles and stardust. i don't trust easily, but those i do trust are unfortunately burdened with all the weight of my heart and soul. gosh i make it sound tremendous eh.


drove to sph on friday to meet eisen for lunch and woots did not get lost or killed going there (getting back was another matter altogether. note to self: just let the damn idiots overtake already instead of speeding up damn bitchily). my inner lemming was obviously on the prowl--kept swerving into the path of traffic and eisen had to pull me back umpteen times before i got squashed beneath the wheels of some enterprising subaru or something. wahaha INCIDENTALLY i HAVE to highlight this: we were walking towards botak jones when he suddenly said "eh you walk outside instead." it had taken about two milliseconds for him to realise that my heels would get caught in the uneven paving stones and i would trip and die-- i swear he realised it even before i did. this, despite working 20 hours a day haha the poor boy doesn't even have energy left to check girls out *patpat* gambette twerpy. nette and i will bring good food for you if need be before we fly away :(


this week-- this couple of days, actually-- eisen, ni and tracy asked me variations on the same question: why i insist on walking them to wherever they're taking their train/bus/elevator from. the answer, cliched as it was, appeared over my earphones tonight in the form of jon mclaughlin's "beautiful disaster"-- she hates the sound that goodbyes make. but goodbye it is now-- i'm deathly tired for some strange reason. no more to wake, no more to roam-- not for tonight. sleep is welcome in my home.
Posted at 1:13 AM

i don't want to go ANYWHERE for the next 6 months i want to stay in singapore and get the danz people package and continue at studio wu and go for blast and dance dance dance dance my heart out.

:(:(:(:(:(
Posted at 10:09 PM

in the ill-judged execution of the well-judged plan of things the call seldom produces the comer, the man to love rarely coincides with the hour for loving. nature does not often say 'See!' to her poor creature at a time when seeing can lead to happy doing; or reply 'Here!' to a body's cry of 'Where?' till the hide-and-seek has become an irksome outworn game.




reading my old entries always amuses me because there's almost always a seriously wtf was i thinking epiphany. but some things always ring true, albeit in alterred circumstances.

p.s. you have the (dubious?) honour of being the longest-duration caller ever, on this wonky keeps-on-hanging phone. and thank you.

stronger than you know
Posted at 3:17 AM

cos if it's over, let it go
and come tomorrow, we will see
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away

Laugh it off and let it go
and when you wake up we will see
So yesterday, so yesterday!
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

so if you're hurting don't you know
he lost so much when he let you go
so yesterday, so yesterday
it doesn't matter, just let him walk away.
Posted at 2:22 AM

i hate birds. i really really hate birds. except with maybe the sole exception of eagles, mainly because they've never crapped on me or my car, or stolen food from my dog or bathed in his water bowl/the fountain. STUPID BIRDS go and poop/eat/bathe somewhere else.

i finally understand why my dad has such a gleeful look on his face whenever he tells me that he's washed and waxed the car. it's an irritating task (but is somehow perversely satisfying), probably made worse because i got it into my head to do the W&W at 12 midnight and couldn't see a damn thing.

i hope i didn't accidentally turn the car purple or something. :S eurgh ok will get up earlier to see what havoc i've wreaked on my dad's baby argh.

that said-- what a fulfilling day :) sewed and cut away at my piles of to-be-pimped t-shirts, danced, had supper with yuko tommy ellen michelle AND dealt with the car (which was a must-do after supper because all the birds in clementi suddenly found the cure for constipation in the gleaming surface of my car. (*^%$E#$%^&).

alright to shower to bed to sleep perchance to dream and to wake up and NOT be late.
Posted at 1:33 AM

from www.postsecret.blogspot.com

-----Email Message-----

Dear Frank,

Tonight I was at Artomatic. On the metro ride home, there was a girl - quite beautiful - with dyed hair and heavy eye makeup but not enough to cover up that something was the matter. She was eying her wrists then looking around. I wish I knew her story. I wish I could help. So on a card I wrote

Dear Friend, Though this is cliche, it has helped me to think the night is darkest just before the dawn.

As she was getting off the metro she dropped a little PRIDE flag and as I picked it up, handed it to her and said, "I think you dropped something." I handed her the card.


-----Email Message-----

i am going to carry an empty post card with me from now on, just in case i see someone in need of exactly what you did.

-Kristina from Germany


i knew all my boxes of postcards were meant for something :)

speaking of which:
loot from london and paris, courtesy of eisen the twerp! good luck for work by the way :)

i remember you cursing the enter key fervently and creatively throughout the course of the making of the contents of the long postcard. yes, sufficient recompense for my 12-sided-scrawled-in-tiny-handwriting letter.

unexpected, and all the sweeter for it-- the lovely random ang jing-a-ling! i love receiving letters :)
hearts to my starbucks study buddy with madcap schemes and a mind with ideas like a runaway train. life was crazier with you around. COME BACK SOON.


i have a very bad feeling that vienna teng's drought might describe my coming months :(
summer move forward and stitch me the fabric of fall...
how much longer dear angels
let winterlight come
and spread your white sheets over my empty house

too far is next spring, and her jubilant shout
so angels inside is the only way out

slow down, the passing of the days.
Posted at 10:40 PM

in his own words-- not verbatim, which would have been so much more heartfelt and inspiring, but as best as faulty human memory can recall:

"if you're serious about dance, if you really want to make dance your career, i can tell you that less than half of you here will be able to make it. there will always be things in the way-- work, studies, shows you cannot do. there will always be people telling you to do something else... but all you have to do is to keep on dancing, keep on believing. you'll eventually find the kind of shows you can do, the style that fits you...

some of you might know-- last year was a very bad year for me; my mother passed away in february. for every performance and every show she'd always been there, lending her support and cheering for me. she was always there, you know? i nearly stopped dancing-- but i didn't. now whenever i dance it still feels like she's there watching.

so if that happens to you-- if something bad were to ever happen to you-- don't stop dancing."

- alvin de castro, danz people open house, 13/6/2009

and when he started dancing it was almost as if there really was someone else watching, apart from all of us there. and it was beautiful, and rather embarrassingly i wept like a baby; then lina and joo teng's duet was up next, and brace myself as i would (i knew it was coming, didn't i) the line "one more smile on your face" affected me in equal if not greater measure than at emcc.

i'm irritated that i cannot remember his exact words. and he definitely said more. sigh. but that-- that was one of the most memorable, if painful, segments of the whole night at the open house :)



coke show was ker-rap-- i've never liked coke anyway, and i'm not sure how much publicity we DID generate for them, and GOSH i'd forgotten how irritating filming and NGs are. except that for every take for the stupid music video they wouldn't say "Cut, no good"-- they'd say GOOD, but then ask for ONE MORE TIME. damn waste time zzz in the end we missed clare's class at pomo and got coke sprayed all over us by over-exuberant fellow extras. and we didn't get overtime pay!! but ohkay i guess hanging out with all the blastards was pretty darn fun :):)

pomo classes were incredibly crowded but good exposure, nevertheless, although we only got to attend 4 classes (DARN YOU stupid coke organiser)-- i really really like kate willis' strength and sharpness in her choreo, which erwin SLAYED. seriously. alex's was fun (WHEE he's taking over class this thurs or leastways that's what adelene said) but i really wish i could have caught the steps properly; i liked pat's choreo the most but obviously had trouble with it as usual bleh. mornin's choreo had very simple steps, but i guess it was all a matter of adding your own flava/groove/whatever. some people (e.g. the brother-in-law. HAHA) did it successfully; others (like boxer-boy) were major epic fails. ok maybe just boxer-boy. SERIOUSLY WHAT'S HIS GAY PROBLEM. i'm still fuming about his creepiness and the fact that he basically strolled into class without paying and then proceeded to make a heckuva lot of noise and irritate the living daylights out of everyone around him. bastard.

whatever. mwahaha oh yes i love love love mornin's substitute nickname for thomas. HAHAHAHAH :D shutting up.

finally before the performance tracy, brian and i dragged poor starving michelle rose and shingyeen who had eaten absolutely nothing to ishi mura for the long-promised omu raisu! very yummy :) but it did mean that we had to squish into a rather packed studio for the open house performance. all worth it, right down to the throat-that-hurts-every-time-i-swallow-due-to-overenthusiastic-cheering. ahmad's group was insanely tight and karen was amazing-- expressions, strength, sheer musicality-- at some points she definitely shone even more than lina and winnie...! i don't think the cheers for that group ever stopped coming. xiao's lyrical hip hop was wonderful also-- brilliant save of another fallen-off cap, but later in the PA item tracy and i both realised that when his own cap fell off it kind of threw him off for a bit, which was a pity because he'd been completely in the zone just moments before. as always lina and becky were great to watch-- i really can't get over how they managed to sync their grooves so very much, then in something as small as switching the position of their hands suddenly their own styles shine through, and yet it doesn't detract from the unity of the dance at all. i think the length of the day kind of took its toll, though, because in the starting items especially you could see that they were tired-- rebecca didn't fully have her explosiveness, and her smile had just a hint of contrivance about it, and lina also seemed a tad subdued. oh but they more than made up for it later in the PA item-- which was great fun to watch because we never stopped cheering :D

to quote, "pat's damn high tonight"-- apparently heineken side-effects heh. after the whole performance was over and we were getting up to leave i got the shock of my life (okay maybe the night) when he suddenly bustled over-- yes, BUSTLED-- and said "thanks for coming, come here again soon" or i hope to see you here soon or SOMETHING to that effect la-- and then plucked my bottle out of my right hand and shook it (my hand, not the bottle, don't be silly) very heartily. eh?? i must have looked incredibly stunned/non-plussed because he looked kind of aggrieved and then went off to talk to candy instead whooops.

but whatever. i think clare and pat are very sweet together by the way hehe the way they interact with each other...!! and the age difference is not glaring la. can sense an affinity between them. (of course we all sensed more affinities than that sole one tonight... HEHEHE)

saw karen while we were milling about too and after dithering for a LONG while i went up to say hi. i think it was darn obvious that she didn't remember me-- or if she does she remembers me as some sort of half-crazed fangirl or something-- for all that she said "of course i remember you!". but ok i think she DOES know that i'm one of her ex-students. i think. HMMS.

went off with soolen+elzey & thomas & derek & marcus (?) to visit yuko at work after the buffet dinner whee. the darling girl obligingly gave me a glass of green tea instead of beer and then we all played highly amusing and completely random card games HAHA. ok now i need to go and drink more water because my throat really, REALLY, really hurts (except i think it's not going to help because i've downed 2litres of water since classes ended {yes, i counted, i bought the water from cold storage}). and do mid-night housecleaning now now now because there's a heckuva lot of dust on the table YUCKS.

both wide awake and dreaming
of yesterday


p.s. one last note, though... beauty is from the inside, and if someone (someones) cannot appreciate it-- their loss. REALLY. it doesn't and shouldn't affect your self-worth, and YES-- i think you're beautiful the way you are. :) tlc lyrics!
you can buy your hair if it won't grow,
you can fix your nose if he says so
you can buy all the makeup that MAC can make
but if you can't look inside you---- don't let them be in a position to make you feel unpretty.
Posted at 2:14 AM

1) what the hell there's going to be ANOTHER flash mob on saturday. at the heeren also. some bloggers' pj party/silent dance. wth?? (ok la at least it's at 5)

2) drag me to hell has alison lohman and justin long. that's white oleander and accepted material right there. but omg the plot sounds like kerrraaap.

3) jia ni! the ring is poky and painful :( but it looks good. the ring, i mean, but not me. hahahaha

4) MUST SLEEP EARLY TONIGHT if i want to meet lily lee on time for once tomorrow. and i refuse to drive.

5) ning you owe me a run/gym!

6) singtel sucks.

7) ok imma curl up and die for the next 9 minutes that i have free and then head out. eurgh. no time even to die.
Posted at 1:45 PM

i ought to be asleep; a ton of nonsense to deal with in the morning and 200 bucks to blow on a residence permit :(

random: list of movies to catch:
1) drag me to hell (this is weiting's fault. but after walking past the poster twice in three days in the dead of night (or thereabouts) it is starting to look quite enticing). i hope it's an utter scream-your-throat-raw fest.
2) dance, subaru! (MUST watch. if i have to watch this alone i will!!)
3) ghosts of girlfriends past (hahaha the obligatory watch-with-girlfriend show)

wonderful night: i've missed you all so much! the people i can count-- and differentiate and integrate and rationalise-- on. AND talk about symbiosis with (HAHA).



ehhh FOR ONCE i am taller than you guys. for once. mphosis wedges ftw! (although i suspect abby is stooping)

presents galore from the land of the free and nippon, carted back by the self-professed muscle-woman! xf has a matching navel ring too, in gothic black:D


abby's nine-west bag and my matching vs luggage tag (which i am SURE someone will steal if i leave it on any piece of luggage.). she refused to take a shot with it-- darling, it doesn't work. your blonde roots still show. HAHA. and my skirt is OBVIOUSLY not shorter than your shorts.

hahahaha seriously. "rise and shine"?!?! oh EH i declared customs to my mum immediately so she wouldn't misunderstand if she saw it in my bag or something. she was suitably taken aback HEHH.

full moon was supposed to be two nights ago according to the lunar calendar, but the sky puts the lie to all of man's machinations.


and my overpriced black slippers are godawfully ugly :((( but OH WELLS. they're easy to walk in.

____________________________________________________________________________________
words i don't know how to say:

不是我的错
我们都听过
完美的时侯要更多
吵架时又说得太多

when you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart
if you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone.



p.s. on a completely separate note: ok, fine, it was "break your fall" not "let you fall". rarr :(
Posted at 1:59 AM

excuse me mama-- hey
your daughter's fine (your daughter's fine)
and if i could i'd like a moment of her time (a moment of her time)
while i was shopping and i saw her walking by
so can i get her number and i'll give her mine?

if LINA does that choreo-- number, address, 生成八字 全都送上。 if i do it the only thing i'm getting is the rejection hotline. :((( i can fully understand why tracy says that lina is her idol-- her choreo is amazing and her style is simply divine. AHHHHH. i especially like the groove for the chorus because the beat just seems so fitting; either that, or it's the fact that i could actually do a close enough approximation of the steps that i didn't look like i was dancing to another song altogether. just watched the vid on fb too-- woots people look gooood.

michelle and i stayed after the session in an attempt to recap steps and for her to teach me carol's steps to block party but failed miserably on both counts, with the sole exception of kate willis' class from last friday and trinity's from wednesday that she didn't go for. in the end we just kept doing kate's steps because lina knew that one too and frankly it was the one we remembered best. too many la-- three classes of trinity's two of kate's one of carol's plus ayg and then lina's (which we kept freezing up for because we'd get stuck at a step and not remember the next-- ARGH) and then the kallang one which, now that i come to think of it, really is rather jazzy: until i get my fumbling paws upon it, of course, in which case it just looks messy. SIGH. stayed till about two-- emo-ing only a little, if quite despondently-- before driving her back to prepare for her hot date with yk heh. the girl has a darn powerful singing voice.


ruisi and i have a very particular affinity with each other-- we run into each other WHENEVER we're late. mambo, ayg prac, and yesterday's class with kate: three times' the charm, isn't it. felt that the class was a tad too crowded for absolute comfort, and like fred i CANNOT do the airwalk thing and i still don't know what she wants us to do by that. PLEASE let her decide not to continue that choreo for next week. *winces at ending pose that ruisi said looked very chinese dancey*

after that trundled down to red dot to find soozey and ellen for dindindindindinnerrr. we nearly got lost because we had no idea where to get off-- counting bus stops never works-- but found the place after de buus unkle gave us directions and red dot happily provided a strategically located sign right above the bus stop to guide lost travellers. food was good, company was better-- soozey and ellen had pizzas, of which the quattro formaggi tasted yummy (and good gracious they had waited for us to reach before finishing them! i felt so bad) and extremely juicy shitake mushrooms; fred had duck conFEEEEEE and i got what appeared to be an entire bush tossed with pumpkin lasagna. EURGH damn hard to eat i ended up looking like i had various plants sprouting from my teeth.

beer turned the guys into woozy soozey and lazy freddy even as we all kept eyeing the very cool towers of beer backlit by their own internal lamps. the speakers censored the live singer every now and then while ellen concomitantly attempted to instruct me in the fine art of taking pictures by censoring the flash. didn't win anything at bingo but instead hatched devious plans to rob the other table of their prize by tripping the winner as she went up to take her prize/telling them they hadn't bingo-ed/etc etc etc.

caught the "lastest" bus (so reminiscent of my escapades with a certain xf ho haha) and spied, on my way home, crowds of people waiting outside the cathay for sg idol auditions the NEXT day. no, honey, sg idol fever is definitely not dying down. sheesh. then again i read about an obasan who apparently spends $5 to perform with a live band for a 3-minute song every monday at scarlet city (cara's piece. she's still doing the same sort of stories at st that she did at tnp!) and also shells out 1k for costumes every month. whoa. sg idol probably pales in comparison.

reached bedok interchange to realise that i'd missed my last connecting bus by 6 minutes and elected to walk back after eyeing the calm of the night. a perfect tortoise-shell feline gambolled at my feet after i clucked at it (no, not like a chicken, doofus) and followed me in spurious attempts to trip me up by launching itself at the space where my next step would land and rolling onto its back. unfortunately something distracted it and i watched in a sort of mild horror as the cat leapt away and pounced on and ate a lizard. eeeeks.

anyhow i discovered that it was just as well that i hadn't attempted to call my mum to come pick me up: when i got home i found her in a bit of a frenetic panic because she'd somehow managed to burn a hole in my brother's trousers that he needed the next day. actually, she hadn't just burned it-- she'd melted the polyester into little jagged plastic edges. i dug out the sewing kit after convincing her that the hole could be patched and we more or less camouflaged the plasticated bits.

the patching reminded her of my grandma-- she'd said as much as she sewed, that if my grandma were here she'd be able to do it beautifully and turn the hole into an embroidered flower as she had once done for an outfit of my mum's-- an image ludicrous when superimposed upon my brother's uniform, but imbued with all the additional meaning that loss and regret and memory could give it. i didn't know what to say-- i never do.

my grandma was the first thing-- sort of-- that came to my mind the morning of my birthday. and i guess in the post that i typed but never published here my one unanswered and forever unanswerable wish was for her to be here with us still.

the questioning expression on her face-- the epitome of looking askance, i've always thought-- broke into a disbelieving smile-- almost an open-mouthed laugh, wreathed with wrinkles that did not detract from the quiet beauty in her entire demeanour; they added to it, and it's amazing how much detail i still remember to this day, staring into her eyes where the melanin had faded so that the soft darkness of her pupils were ringed with blue-- a blue i've seen nowhere else but in my grandmother's eyes, and ringed in the slightest of rims around my own irises (mine's due to extreme myopia, though).

if this sounds morose i didn't intend it to be.
_______________________________________________________
i am considering renaming socks the kitten the vaunted name of ferrari because it sounds like she has an engine in her chest whenever she purrs. but ferrari the kitten sounds HORRIBLE. playing with her for ~20mins was sufficient recompense for not butter-ing tonight-- according to zhiwen anyway the music still sucks (hi get some bass) the queues are insane and i feel rather like an antisocial homebody tonight. hope they have fun.

i have loot from paris and london! courtesy of eisen, delivered over macs breakfast and a dodgy lunch where strange-coloured water had flooded the establishment EEPS. too lazy to take pictures of them now: shall post them eventually. twerp if you're reading this thank you once again i re-read the postcards last night and we really have to do our rhyming dialogues again one of these days nights. and how apt, our closing lines:

i feel the calling of the hour
time for me to bid you au revoir

forsooth, farewell, to sleep you go
see you soonest on the morrow!

(no it is no longer 6.17pm. i have dawdled so much over this post that it is now 4.24am on MONDAY morning.) good night world!
Posted at 6:17 PM

for some strange reason-- completely inexplicable-- my days have been sort of off-kilter. i can't find a word to express it, except to say that, happy and full of dance and friendship and leisure time (and legitimate work in the form of typing for my dad or of HOURS of laundry. by hand.), sometimes at the end of the day i'm curiously dissatisfied: 有一种很莫名奇妙的失落感。 is it in our natures-- in my nature-- never to be completely happy? and it's not something i know how to speak to anyone about. or even write about, sometimes.

and i have no alcohol tolerance. my sister-- my SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD SISTER-- handed me the tailend of her glass of white wine after dinner and i stupidly drank it. now i'm feeling incredibly warm and uncomfortable. she drank about 2 glasses and didn't bat an eyelid.

well alcohol's supposed to free inhibitions, isn't it? right. write.

sunday: painting the town pink
fell dead asleep-- on the couch! i didn't even make it to my bed-- after mum forcibly made me remove my contact lenses when i stumbled in like the walking dead after sundown duty. woke up later than i would have wanted and foolishly spent time blogging and mousehunting (THAT THING WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME) and so obviously left the house at, oh, about the time i should have been at ue square. sorry ellen! :S and thank goodness for my mum's extensive wardrobe with its surfeit of pink clothes.

party was very good-- i adored her fruit salad!! it had raisins mixed in, and the apple contrasted so wonderfully with the potato. why am i gushing over the food-- the birthday girl was absolutely delectable: slim and statuesque in a smashingly flattering, figure-hugging tube dress. yeah that sexy sexy sexy. i thought the hot pink and black structured detail was very arresting-- as did *ahem* several other people! HAHA. but ok la what to do erren v hot.

conversation scintillating as always: choice gems apart from clement&liren's faux pas which may or may not have been (heee), there was also the whole debate about spouses with prawn heads and chii tarng wanting weina to have more hair (on her face?!) because of the old wife's tale that the meal plate represents the face of your future spouse. also, when i asked thomas if he'd drugged the drinks since he'd brought them over (why so nice!), he said "you'll know. see you in the morning, poon" with an evil grin. i carefully proffered my drink to karen, who said, "i've drunk it already. see you in the morning, too."

in the middle of the presentation of our drawings to ellen, i randomly wondered where soozey was and turned around only to catch him darting into the room in an incredibly furtive manner. strangely enough he was no longer in the spiffy pink shirt he'd been in earlier (and no, soozey, it does not match your shoelaces). he saw me eyeing him and made a rather-alarmed-looking shushing motion. hehh! ellen got her very own surprise birthday dance which was incredibly entertaining and lovely and sweet; as always xuzi's choreo is dope :D was completely torn between trying to capture the dance on video with my sister's camera, which i did not know how to use, and just watching and enjoying the show. chii tarng's expressions were hilarious and i especially adored soozey's pointing at ellen-- and dancing and looking straight at her :D:D and yes, fred's beatle-hair is apparently quite a hit hee.

lovely cake, lovely party, lovely after-dinner walk and conversation even with unfortunate light-bulbing at macs. thank you ellen!

i can't talk now, i gotta catch another flight
sending wh off later that night/morning (four freaking am!!) was strangely awkward; i think we're at our best with each other when there's no one else around-- no misunderstandings to be engendered, no worries about later gossip or whatever. the thing is that we're easy friends and will probably never be more than that, but with all the typical eagerness of our human natures to misconstrue and matchmake the most innocent of exchanges "assume unforeseen significance" (slay me, i just quoted an equity case. oh gods). i hadn't known jz was going along or i would have bought stuff and/or a card as well. in any case he-- wh -- had stuff to do, whereas i just hung around waiting for him to finish packing and check in and all. no wonder people usually go in groups to send friends off.

still, i finally fulfilled my innate unexpressed desire of wanting to drive in the wee hours of the night/morning (going home from school does not count. there're usually still cars on the road even at 2am which is the latest i've left campus). on my way to the ecp for the first 3 minutes or so i swear i was the only person on the roads. it was kind of creepy in a christopher-pike-whisper-of-death kind of way: the protagonist drives back from out of town with her boyfriend, seeing only a hitch-hiker along the way whom they do not pick up. upon arriving in town no one else is seen except for 3 other friends. and in that world there are only the 5 of them left... and the hitch-hiker. one of pike's better efforts. in any case, midnight driving wasn't all i had thought it would be :( maybe i just wasn't in the right frame of mind.

monday: nothing ventured, nothing gained
shopping with yuko, a day that yielded all our goals: fitted white shirt for her work as an angel :), slinky black dress for her photoshoot, strappy black towerblocks masquerading as mphosis wedges (which i am in two minds about zhnging-- to stud or not to stud??) and dance shirts from bossini. the new wordblock tees are very likeable!
1) they resemble our blast!ard shirt alot
2) i like proverbs
3) they have Chinese translations on the back for those seeking their roots, in suitably small font for those seeking to escape theirs
4) they're incredibly comfortable to dance in
5) plus-- and this is a big plus-- they don't look cheesy, and the cutting isn't weird.

also yielded great insights into yuko as a person; and i'm very glad that we DID go out, 4am sendoffs or not. :)

a display i particularly liked:)

dashed off for ayg practice and ran helter skelter all the way from the engine stop to ucc. we. have. no. stamina. stayed late to practise a leetle that night and wound up singing aerosmith and bon jovi and "this is the time, this is the moment" down all the darkest pathways of nus after i failed, epically, to walk her back to RH (she ended up walking me to the bus 10 stop instead). our journey included cost-analysis of renting hall rooms as well as shadows of security guards and completely uncalled-for self-freaking-out on my part: i'd picked up a 20 cent coin and chanted "penny penny bring me luck because i'm the one who picked you up" over it, only to tell yuko how the chinese would exorcise ghosts into coins and throw them away. when yuko agreed with a "lu bu shi yi" i shrieked a little-- JUST a little-- and then flung the coin away. -_______-

tuesday: grasshoppers
our much-delayed-and-postponed ktv session finally came to fruition when huiwen, edeline, sy and i finally converged on teo heng's rooms determined to wreak vocal havoc. hi alesha dixon is impossible to sing on karaoke. especially when edeline is rapping in the background. and i handed sim yee the tube of potato chips and she sang into it, apparently thinking by reflex that it was the mike. we were 伴舞s to the grasshoppers of yore and later hollered tuch mah barreh along the streets before taking a ride on the wild side-- sort of-- in huiwen's car to the bus stop and heading for home.

and in all seriousness, for all that i mauled mariah carey that night by literally miming the following lyrics, i think they make a lot of sense to me, suddenly:
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you
yes-- i do need to be stronger. then again, don't we all?

wednesday:
i suspect i am an incredibly perverse person, because i love it when i am woken up by phone calls in the morning-- telling me that i can go back to sleep some more. stolen fruit is always the sweeter; i guess the same goes for stolen sleep. HEH. eisen's call woke me up and for a moment i was horrified thinking that i was incredibly late: turned out he'd just woken up too, so oh wells. raincheck!!

ran for ayg prac at pomo and met ruisi who was as lost as i was before finally spying the studio on the SECOND, not the first floor. i like the studio's open-ness (always felt kind of claustrophobic in studio wu), although the people walking around outside are a distraction and sources of sporadic pressure. can't remember the choreo. burn me. PRACTICE.

walking with ellen and yuko to studio wu after that we chanced upon an exhibition at the national library: unpacked?

i would LOVE this for a blogskin. it's a bath, in wilderness.

as always, words are my poison-- even more so than images.

ellen and fred signed up for studio wu packages! whee. and tracy's supposed to sign up SOON. reggae was okay but much slower-paced and easier to follow compared to the previous two weeks, but i might have preferred it if i'd left completely wrung out. as it was i felt vaguely tired, but not the exhausted i like to be. and WHYYY does everyone there seem so flexible? i swear they've got rubber for joints.

starving by the time i met my mum at tang's and headed to pick up my sisters. mum treated us to spaghetti takeout dinner, in the midst of which we had an unexpected visitor:

apparently she used to hang around my house when she was the tiniest of kittens and i christened her Socks.

communing with my dog. i found it very disturbing that he kept circling us and drooled incessantly, and every time he brought his head closer to sniff her i worried that he would bite her head off and i'd be holding a headless kitten-cat with blood spurting out of a severed neck.

morbid.
Posted at 11:17 PM

... i fell asleep while mousehunting and random blogskin surfing. sounds so secondary school when i'd play aetolia till 4am on school nights and die the next day.

luckily i didn't sweep my laptop off my bed or something in my sleep :/

in any case, courtesy of eisen:



and what a weird dream i had. i think i dreamt that i was at ucc and we were all practising in front of the mirror when a sunshine yellow lamborghini gallardo drove in behind us. huh? maybe it wanted to take blast class too. HURHUR.

the book i was reading went missing! damnit. maybe i put it on the gallardo in my dream--

ok i'm gg back to sleep. eurgh.
Posted at 8:17 AM