Falling by `greenfeed on deviantART

you won't know till it happens to you.



anyway quote of the day is lily lee's manipulation of "cater 2 you" (you're all i want in a man, i put my life in your hands), after we pointed out that it totally TOTALLY lacked grrrrlpower and was a disgusting concession to men:

"you're all i want in a corpse/ i put your body in the morgue"

HAHA. or sth like that laaaaa.
Posted at 2:07 PM

(pic courtesy of jinglin ang. hurhurhur)

i am going to die a very ugly death tomorrow.

EQUITY SUCKS. i don't care if the freaking harshness of the rules of the court isn't mitigated, there's a reason guns were invented, SHOOT THE DAMN FOOLS already.

*fervently dreaming of how she can disembowel millett and fill his stupid gutless insides with millet*

AHHHH I WISH IT WERE SATURDAY AND I HAD ANOTHER 4 DAYS TO MUG FOR THIS LOUSY PAPER. ricquier i am so sorry but i am going to fail your subject. ok gg back to read tracing and stupid ang mo kio aunties and bedok bengs and whatnot (seriously whoever sets the papers has got to stop inflicting his nascent literary ambitions on stressed-out students).

ps. have a good flight ning! i'm sure hyper choc and fudge will miss you (see if they were called hyper act and tiff that would be so much easier to say)
Posted at 7:05 PM

you wanted my heart to bleed that was all you were asking for.



talk about being blind.

when you come back down
if you land on your feet
i hope you find a way to make it back to me
...
i think it's time to just move on

better luck next time.
Posted at 3:13 AM

i asked my brother, "do you like mangoes?"

his reply: "as what, fetishes?"


no, i DON'T want to know. good god. i am never going to look at 7d dried mangoes in quite the same way again. :S
Posted at 1:23 PM

my head feels like it's full of cotton wool. so does my nose. so do my ears.

either i am a very precious plaything that has been cozened and protected in wool and tissue paper, or i am sick.

i now hate starbucks-- with a vengeance-- for perhaps as long as the next 12 hours, until i have to darken its doors with my piles of notes again.

things i learnt yesterday:
1) you can grow stupid with boredom
2) sitting for hours in starbucks is now a torture method that CIA should try, rather than merely waterboarding its suspects
3) i can, however, survive an entire day away from Belle-- also known as "my damnable laptop", depending on whether i am pissed or not with her
4) i cannot however survive without random dance videos. and i was lucky that i had Mikaela-- also known as my player-- to help out on that point
5) the american courts actually seriously had to consider whether exercise of free speech extended to slogans like "fuck the draft" (do you think tla or kevin etc might be offended if i quoted tt in my essay)
6) that is however a whole lot more than local courts consider. our guiding formula is is this-- if it's anyone from, say, Wonderful Is My Party, any defamation action MUST SUCCEED, and succeed BLINDINGLY. like 300k awards, as compared to 12k for anyone else. (by the time i finished that article my annotations in the margins had grown to font size 28).
7) shape run is on july 19th!!! and must register this weekend!
8) my horoscope for april from shape tells me i need my beauty sleep. very ironic, considering the person reading it had six hours of sleep in two days.
9) and pursuant to that point-- to lily lee and xf-- no, actually, you cannot survive on that amount of sleep.
10) my lovely pretty converse bag is SPLITTING. i blame the stupid book (the red one) and its descendant, the stupid book two (the blue one). NEVER PLACE LAW TEXTBOOKS IN ANY BAG, unless you hate it. the bag, not the book.

some things are very transient. yesterday looking up from my seat i was greeted with arrays of starbucks tumblers and coffee presses et al, and on one of them sunlight had worked its magic to turn a nondescript black background into mocha, and filigreed splashes of molten silver in the contours of its molded plastic, and splashed orange in throwaway glances from the lamps inside the coffeehouse itself. and in quiet unassuming clear plastic were reflected sky and a sliver of a palm tree nodding gently outside, and the promise of freedom after this. and that is beauty that all starbucks' marketing, as capable as it is, will never be able to capture.

the night was better still. the stars were brilliant-- even more so than the night of my santa anas post, and later there were winds that howled through my house like all the hounds of hell were baying in its gusts. if we could only interpret storm winds i think they'd have far more to say than this blog ever will.

still cotton woolish. going for dance later. pray that i don't screw up and fail to catch all my steps arghhh.

do you want to be a polyesterrrrr brriddeeeeeee
(yes, liz phair-- and lifehouse-- AND lin jun jie-- has been haunting my player all week. WHAT is this obsession with the Ls)
Posted at 2:16 PM

The Santa Anas blew in hot from the desert, shriveling the last of the spring grass into whiskers of pale straw. Only the oleanders thrived, their delicate poisonous blooms, their dagger green leaves. We could not sleep in the hot dry nights, my mother and I. I woke up at midnight to find her bed empty. I climbed to the roof and easily spotted her blond hair like a white flame in the light of the three-quarter moon.

"Oleander time," she said. "Lovers who kill each other now will blame it on the wind." She held up her large hand and spread the fingers, let the wind trace itself through. My mother was not herself in the time of the Santa Anas. I was twelve years old and I was afraid for her. I wished things were back the way they had been, that Barry was here, that the wind would stop blowing.

"You should get some sleep," I offered.

"I never sleep," she said.

...

In the Santa Anas, eucalyptus trees burst into flames like giant candles, oilfat chaparral hillsides went up in a rush, flushing starved coyotes and deer down onto Franklin Avenue.

Janet Fitch, White Oleander

i cannot breathe, i'm going mad, i'm getting cabin fever. my past midnight jaunt just made me want to run mindlessly (which my parents have forbidden me from doing once the clock hits 12. damn :( )

rain, rain, my kingdom for rain!
Posted at 2:12 AM

"You built your walls too, she tells him. So I have my wall. She says it glittering in a beauty he cannot stand. She with her beautiful clothes with her pale face that laughs at everyone who smiles at her..."
— Michael Ondaatje (The English Patient)


if i ever thought i was a complicated girl i think i had evidence today that i may be as simple as one plus one. it doesn't always equate to two, but most times you can be sure that it will reach that result.

and however complicated one plus one is it isn't fermat's last theorem.

maybe-- in a way-- that's why despite the fact that we all hang out in the same group, i've never actually felt close to you. you've always-- for want of a better analogy-- had a public face, like the discworld dwarves, while deep inside underground the waters and the miners and the emotions run deeper than you will ever let them show on the surface.

but it's not fair when you let him in so completely but to the rest of us paint him as a jerk, as though he's the one stalking your every movement and not leaving you alone and not knowing when to BACK. OFF. it's not fair because you know the truth is that you're asking him to be there, and that you need him there. it's, most of all, incredibly bloody unfair to him.

we never asked for a friend who has to be untouchable and unbreakable. we never asked for an elizabeth, or a joan of arc.

don't build your walls. i built them, too, because i thought it was the only way to stay sane and whole and unhurt. but it doesn't work that way, and castle walls don't just keep out; they lock in, too.
_________________________________________________________________
the sky today was incredible; as much as i stick to the shadows even i had to concede that the incredible blue of the mid-morning vaults (which lasted till 5ish, when i collected my public law paper and sat outside frowning at it) streaked with cotton-candy swathes of cloud was simply beautiful to behold. it promised freedom, clarity, serenity; tantalised with images of sand and sea and surf, of gold-dappled tarmac caressed by salt-laden winds; teased with hints of impending summertime.

and in acknowledgement thereof i abandoned the usual sheltered pathway for the sunlit trudge upslope and smiled merrily at almost everyone.

and so lcs was finally concluded today, public law was collected; nette had her mcflurry, lily lee got her earphones (which i'm still sore about. they look NOTHING like the stupid website promised, except for maybe having wires), i didn't buy my 9.5cm heels (just as well. i got my ibanking statement today. wthhhhh) and had a rather edifying talk in person with A. I'm sorry now that i rather angrily labelled all his posturing as pertrarchan. i still think it's all rather a bit too melodramatic, but-- aiyah first relationships and all that. first cut's always the deepest, huh.

and yet another day closer to exams.

in any case happy international dance week, all! Apsara Asia has this very value for money class but it's on 25th april BOO. 2 days before equity. :(

MUG.
Posted at 1:02 AM

to quote lily lee, "drop dead, gorgeous". emily is so right-- brains over beautyyyyy.

this is HILARIOUS. read read read! http://divaasia.com/article/3144

props to chee kin! :D and thanks to whoever it was who fb-ed that of the 2 commentaries in today and mypaper today the latter was by far the superior piece. they're right. the today one, i'm sad to say, had the s factor, all right-- superficial, shallow, superfluous. come on, you've got to be capable of more than that.

on a side note, my head is full of choreo instead of constructive trusts. MUST. STOP. WATCHING. YOUTUBE. today's class was v enjoyable though (yes, today, the cc did not flood, catch on fire or suffer a plague of locusts. murphy must be on vacation.). i have to admit when i wandered up to the studio and saw the group of very hip-hop-ly-dressed (i'm sorry my brain fails to supply a word. must be too much contact with the s factor thing) guys loitering outside it i kind of freaked and went to hide in a corner for a while. i am socially inept, what can i say.

but it was okay la the class wasn't too fast or anything. the mere fact that i could catch the choreo speaks volumes. high and happy but completely dissastisfied for not feeling tired after dance i went home and went for a run to nowhere at all, passing absolutely random places ranging from my pri sch to my brother's pri sch to my sister's jc to jinglin's house. hurhurhur. i would like to declare the goo goo dolls' stay with you my official night running anthem-- one of them, at least. i would also like to marry john rzeznik. (actually i want to marry sara bareilles, but unless singapore does a vermont and legalises same sex marriage that ain't gonna happen, so...) or at least play the guitar and write like him. or mike malinin. i have a weakness for drummer boys.

but last monday nette and i completely mangled the song while sitting in gloria jean's puzzling over lcs. we decided that the chorus would be a contract void for uncertainty and lack of intention to enter into legal relations and ill-defined terms and conditions-- i'll stay with you in consideration for what? the storm inside you? no definition of storm, and it's subjective, cannot use objective reasonable person test, so if cannot feel storm then cannot stay and what walls?? uncertainty again not defined!

oh my god we are such screwed up students.


these streets turn me inside out
everything shines but leaves me empty still

I'll, I'll burn this lonely house down
if you run with me
if you run with me

and i'll stay with you
the walls will fall before we do
take my hand now, run forever, i can feel the storm inside you
i'll stay with you

am i fooled by my own desires
i twist my fate just to feel you
and you, you turn me toward the light
and you're one with me, will you run with me

...

now wake up this world
wake up tonight
and run to me
run to me now

incidentally i want to read pride and prejudice and zombies. yes, that is one title. i am damn amused by it i may actually be able to stomach jane austen if it comes with a generous serving of brains. woots.

what a random post.

stay with me
Posted at 2:52 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol2DedEhOGI
"she ain't a witch, she's a scientologist!" hahah :D


LCS.
Lots of Crap & Shit
Langgar Car: Sad :(
Lopsided Chicken Scat
Less Chatter, Scottie!
Lost. Crazy. Stupid.
...
Laughter. Cinnamon. Slowdriveshome.


today is a peanut-butter-and-wholemeal-bread kind of day; provincial to use food to describe emotions about a day, but there you have it. it is-- was (this is why i dislike starting an entry in the middle of the day-- i type this now at night and i cannot figure out which tense to use. argh. grammar nazi)-- a comfort sort of a day; a day which in a bronte /austen novel would translate into curling up before a cheerful fire in the midst of winter, toes nestling into the fabric of the cushion, legs folded under, book in hand. instead we have (had?) the plausibly-cosy-but-in-commercial-reality-not-so confines of the slr room and the dubious pleasures of lcs in which to lose ourselves. but for once my penguin suit actually fit comfortably instead of being stifling. whee.

sunrise was absolutely breathtaking-- impossible cloud-cover that drifted in the wind like a coquette's veils. wake up, sky, hide not your face, you do not deceive me. i know you want to shine.

i have pictures, but will not load them now since i am supposed to be doing work. bleh.

teri called me in the morning to tell us that she'd crashed her car on her way to school. i could totally emphasise with how shaken she sounded, man. hurhur. except that her crash was apparently a lot worse than mine, because she hit a bmw instead of a hatchback, and the other party was in no way as decent as my unfortunately-close-encounteree-- the bmw driver harangued her for not stopping at a yellow box to let her pass (what? huh???).

in any case we did have time to do our negotiations and stuff, and even made it to ge on time despite a deranged cabbie who needs to reinstall his gps or grind it into bonemeal and fertilise his crops. i have to admit that negotiations were surprisingly fun-- i was freaking terrified because i felt so unprepared, but our 45mins passed really quickly despite a snafu i plunged into without thinking it through properly and from which nette rescued me with deft alacrity. thank goodness-- i was floundering.

and SERIOUSLY i did not mean to be aggressive, and i really thought we should have come down harder on them. ok la i was damn obviously biased/pissed from the start, because HI DON'T JUDGE ME (or my group) FROM FIRST IMPRESSIONS. just because we were nice and friendly does not mean we are PUSHOVERS. the CHAUVINISM pouring off a certain someone in waves TSUNAMIS did not help even before we started i was like "i need to decimate this guy, damnit. )(*&^%$#@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@." GRRRRRRR even thinking about it now makes me want to bite something.

but at least it's finally ended. plus i did not burst into song during the negotiations which i think teri and nette had truly been worried i would do haha although i did start spouting random chinese. OVERRR. FINITO. ZEE END. well, sort of-- we have one final draft of the contract due on friday, which is also collect-public-law-assignment-doomsday. *glooooom*

dinner at cinnabun and subway, supplemented with edo's wakame inari. finally something from edo that tastes decent. jin gave me a lift home, and i have to pride myself on managing to sneak a hazelnut dark chocolate muffin into her backseat literally right under her nose before i got off. :D haha i walked damn fast after that because i was afraid she'd leap out of her car and forcibly return the muffin. muffins are happy food and good people deserve happy food!

feeling mildly grumpy because 2 presents i randomly ordered just arrived in the mail today and look nothing like what was promised on the website. in fact, one of them is, frankly speaking, bordering on hideous instead of classy. :(:( how to give as presentsssssss.

on the other hand it is incredibly gratifying to shop for presents for people we love and cherish. i shall not look upon birthday-present-shopping as a chore anymore. gave michelle her tinkerbell tote on monday at winnie's class and i hope she really does like it! :):) haha i'm on this random present-giving spree (it's the exams, so obviously i'm spending about three million hours online shopping instead of reading equity or pub law) AND i have come to the conclusion that money makes no one happy, it's the spending that does it, so you might as well spend on someone/thing meaningful instd of the same old endless accessories and apparel. not that i don't, still *glances guiltily at wardrobe* AND before you think that is a sophie kinsella-ish sentiment, i'll have you know that epiphany descended on me while i was reading an equity case.

now if i could only remember which one it was. maybe i dreamt it, i don't know. don't think i'm sleeping enough to dream.
___________________________________________________________________

i cannot get this out of my head. it's been there for a week or two, at least! eurgh.

Posted at 3:39 PM

green tea popcorn which i swear is evil incarnate. i finished the whole packet :( along with incidental help from a few grazers ranging from siqi and robo, who loved it, to lily lee, who did not mind it, to teri and nette and andrew, who thought it was hellbane. at least it was happy food that got me through lcs. GARGH LCS BURN BURN BURN. ruining perfectly good days with complete dourness. i snapped at yz and snarled at luke before i managed to shut myself up bleh.

still, by dint of incredible patience and a lot of effort some people enjoy complete immunity from my moods :D. yes, this goes out to miss "no... they're super square!!" and miss having-an-exam-everyday. <3

went for winnie's open studio on monday :):) very very happifying. how in the world did i stay out of dance classes for weeks? before monday the last time i'd danced was seriously blast class. so long ago (the cc where i was supposed to take classes catching on fire 30 mins before class started did not help either. i tell you murphy's law views me as its personal pet)! the horror. karen was complaining that she was out of form but hurhur michelle and i psycho-motored from warmup to the very end. but it was fun nevertheless AHHH addicted. and talk about coincidences it was only after the class ended and i was facebooking that night that i realised that one of the people there had been my hc pe teacher. HAHA. i rmb her alright cos she was pretty much the first female i knew who could breakdance and she tried to teach us six-step et. al. for pe elective but obviously pretty much everyone failed, majorly. not the most coordinated bunch.

lily lee asked me after pub law tut today "how was dance?" and then burst out laughing because she said my eyes lit up immediately. :D

pub law tut was insane lost as alice as always. i watched in disbelief as a certain someone fielded question after question with insanely in-depth answers while watching soccer on his laptop. i mean-- seriously. life is not fair. where are my brains??? and aren't guys supposed to not be able to multi-task?!

sometimes i really have to wonder what the heck i'm doing in this course man. i appealed to overload my courseload at uppsala so that i can do a lit module hurhur. DESPERATE to do 18th century brit lit, but that course is 10 credits and i think i can only overload by 7.5 credits, which leaves me with effectively shakespeare. HAIZ. eisen's advice was to go for 18th century, which i really do want-- charlotte bronte's villette, for crying out loud!-- but credits credits credits :( means i can't take swedish, either. AH burnnnnnn. i shall conveniently omit telling my parents that they're paying exorbitant amounts so their daughter can s/u all her law modules in favour of literature and dance (hopefully!).

wondering, too, if i should try applying to sph to intern this break. i really do miss the newsroom an awful lot, and sometimes i think that, as emotionally exhausting as the whole shindig was, it had a lot of meaning. meaning that is not always apparent in law. (maybe not even apparent-- actual. HURHUR public law natural justice). and imminent mental breakdowns/burn outs or not if i'd done communications and journalism, at least i'd have had a stand, an opinion, a firm knowledge of what i felt about everything instead of the hazy gray areas in everything i see now. and i'd be doing something i truly loved instead of something i feel somewhat ambivalent about.

but then i wouldn't be in nus, i wouldn't have joined blast or gotten to know all the wonderful wonderful people there, and i wouldn';t be going into the same profession as my nearest and dearest bestest of best friends, and i would never get to hang out with my fellow green-tea-lover (who alternates between attempting to seduce me or to entice jin away from me), or the "centaur of attention", or-- oh no this will go forever.

so-- nah. not going to drop out haha.

and in any case i don't think sph would want me back. no reason to take on anyone who's not really considering joining them what.

SIGH I MISS THE NEWSROOM. eisen you don't know how lucky you are...!!
Posted at 3:38 AM

no words from me today, world; my mind is complicated and o'erteemed and truth does not fall easily from these un-cherry lips.

felki forwarded charlotte's email to me earlier.

"...As the infections can be very serious if not kept in control, the doctor has strictly advised that only immediate family members visit him at the hospital so that he may recover from these infections and continue with his treatment. Therefore, please know that your concern and help extended in the past weeks are greatly appreciated in ways we can never fully express in words, but it is for his best interests that visiting be stopped for this period.

It is hoped that a bone marrow transplant can be carried out for him after several rounds of chemotherapy which will place him at a higher chance for a cure...

...Melvin's sister and brother-in-law have already stepped forward to increase the chances that someone can find a suitable bone marrow in us to conduct a transplant. I am too. I didn't before because I never knew how I could literally save the life of someone else. This isn't just about Melvin, it is about any other leukaemia patient. I witness firsthand, with more than half of my waking hours everyday, how Melvin battles the illness. You can never imagine the intensity of hope that is held by a leukaemia patient and his loved ones, and Melvin represents everything dear and close to my heart.

...

The (bone marrow donor program) will only get in touch with you for your consent to donate your marrow only if your HLA matches perfectly with that of the patient in need. However, I truly wish that no one decides to deny someone else the chance at a cure should a match be found. The test is just a finger prick, and you can go with your friends at the times stated at the donor centres above.

You may be Melvin's friend from Holy Innocents', from Chinese High School or Hwa Chong Junior College, you may have known him from his BMT/Sispec/OCS/CMPB days, you may be a friend of friend, an acquaintance, you may have played badminton or soccer with him, you may have ran alongside him during the last Nike run and Standard Chartered Marathon, you may not know Melvin at all, you may know me, you may have forgotten who I am, it doesn't matter.

What matters is that everyone can help to spread the word so that we can all help to increase the size of the public registry and save more lives."

i think her words speak for themselves.
Posted at 11:59 PM

just got back not too long ago from filming mel's thing. wouldn't have taken so long, except i got off at the wrong stop and wound up walking from maha bodhi to halfway to kembangan.

very glad that mel liked the vid. very sorry we can't do more-- except maybe the bone marrow donation bit.

good to meet the freak and chu. hurhur. and to reminisce about people who drink only evian and give out namecards and ponder muscles and tutors who let us sleep in class the day after world cup (how come no one remembers!!! i even rmb the darn classroom). chuos eat more medicine and get well and freak! remember to take a pic of the harem of kiwis to show your kiwi. i really had fun, even during the singing and the public humiliation. and the unintentional para para hahaha.

charlotte looked so tired. please, please, let them be well.

i always complain that i was unhappy and screwy and stressed out in hc, but given a choice i don't think i would change anything if i went back in time or something. i have met wonderful people. very, very wonderful people. :)



now i'm just inexpressibly tired because i don't like bad things happening to good people. and--

i'm just tired.

good night, world.

but if i could hide beside you maybe for a while
and you won't tell no one my name
Posted at 1:00 AM

seriously wtf. hahahaha
Posted at 1:34 PM

do not watch true blood kthxbye.

if i thought the books were already pretty damn trashy (chick lit dressed up in fangs and a bloody smile) the tv series must be sembcorp, inc.

slept off an incipient fever and now wide awake at 3.29am in the midst of perfect running weather. i WANT.

sigh.

incidentally, i caught a glimpse of harry potter on hbo tonight. dolores umbridge said "progress for the sake of progress must not be tolerated" or sth to that effect.

... i could have sworn those words came verbatim from a sg parliamentary report. 377a debate, no less, courtesy of one of our dearest consti law professors. oh the horror.

and i have accidentally gotten fred and ellen hooked on this: http://www.uniqlo.jp/uniqlock/
hurhur.
Posted at 3:27 AM

because we all need a laugh, and to celebrate my finally-managing-to-sign-in-to-msn.

also, hosy's retardness, but let's not talk about that here shall we. (eh baseball, hockey, whatever la!! i don't play hockey what. i don't even watch friday the 13th. grumble)











in the words of m2m, mirror mirror hanging on the wall, you don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all

















i am mildly amused. my mum just watched some random ch8 show where i had some calefare part a loooong time ago and she totally didn't recognise me.

haiz. back to equity. happy mugging, all. eurgh.
Posted at 6:08 PM

Do you believe in always,the wind
said to the rain
I am too busy with
my flowers to believe,the rain answered

e.e. cummings
Posted at 2:42 AM

best friends are just sisters god forgot to give you.

i miss you. a lot. :(
Posted at 2:11 AM

If i was beautiful like you
all the things I would do
Those not so blessed
would be crying out murder
And I'd just laugh
And get away with it too
Like you do

If i was beautiful like you
I would never be at fault
I would walk in the rain
between the raindrops
Bringing traffic to a halt

frankly ms manson it should be if i were beautiful like you, but i'm plumbing for the sentiment anyway. *resists urge to correct lyrics*

hooked on the melody from utada's come back to me and reading anisminic-- all 72 pages of it. ARGH.

some things never change
Posted at 12:35 PM

(typed earlier, posted later, and WARNING: very, very long post ahead. really very long. get tea, get cookies, settle in if you plan to read. i'd advise going away.)

This night is Very Quiet; through the whirr of the ceiling fan I hear only the occasional cricket whose song pierces the night air, clear, sharp, clean. The susurrus of laughter breaks the silence—someone sings a happy birthday, someone claps, someone else cheers. I cannot see them through the mosquito gauze in this room I have been in for only hours but which feels comfortable and familiar already.

Being amongst friends does that, of course :) or a friend. Or whatever.

I like ntu a lot! I will always wonder what life would have been like if I’d accepted the wkwsci offer instead of law. Granted people always complain that it’s like a little china or something, but it’s so—peaceable. Peaceful. Of course it surely has its little and not-so-little dramas that I know nothing about, visitor as I am—but I really like this place. Even surrounded by mosquitoes as it seems to be. It’s the sense of history and age and—sheer legacy, imbued in every atom of its hallowed halls. Even the newer hostels.

I have no internet connection unfortunately, or else I would be broadcasting my ntu-based status because HI this is almost in Malaysia (one of the wireless networks that I tried and failed to connect to said yahoo.com.my. HURHUR)



I am happy because I know good people who care and who listen; they sense when I’m upset and can cheer me up (chirrup! heh) yet don’t probe when I need to have people not-probe. They just know when I need to talk, to take my mind off me and chide away from me the thoughts of day, away from me my worried ways. They make me happy and they make the world a better, slightly-less sterile and cold realm. I am glad for friends :)

Right. Now I need a really rich friend who can toss me six hundred big ones to settle the repairs to my dad’s car. PLEASE don’t let the other guy screw me over or something (he WAS very nice and he msged me after the whole thing to ask if I was ok, but EURGH I guess against human nature I will always have my guard up. Esp after all my parents’ horror stories).

I have updates to do but I also have about 50 more slides, 2 chapters and 1 tutorial to do by tomorrow (or by the time ning comes back to the room anyway what’s the point of meeting one of your bestest friends if all you do is mug).
____________________________________________________________
(typed later, still)
Suffice it perhaps to say: dance uncensored was on Sunday, and despite all the last-minute logistical insanities (like mistakenly thinking we had 4 tix for the night show or thinking that there was only one show or suddenly realizing we had NO tickets at all) I am unspeakably glad that we went, after all. Admittedly queuing at 12 was frankly a little bit nuts (I was REALLY afraid we wouldn’t get tickets! Especially after what Thomas said hurhur) but the time was well-spent in good company and REALLY time just flew past:)

So fast, in fact, that all our plans to study became utterly and completely moot. Bleh.

Eeps. But the mix-up was quite a bother cos in the end we had to split up from krystal and collen who went for the night show instead, and I bugged pretty much everyone because I switched timings about three or four times. And guess what I felt even worse after I reached ucc and yvonne heng told us that it was fred’s birthday! And I was like “omg so I basically messed with his plans for the whole day”. Hurhur. And obviously we didn’t get him a present (I plead ignorance of material facts, so no unconscionability [ARGH I AM BEING HAUNTED BY EQUITY SHUDDUP LAW TEXTBOOK]) so I wound up buying cookies and dinner-ing.

hazel was right, anyhow-- it REALLY was an enjoyable show. we'd worried that 21 items was a heckuva lot to sit through (who was the one who said no intermission?? hurhur) but in fact time passed very quickly. most of the items were fairly short i guess. ARGH okay everyone who has anything better to do-- like breathe-- can switch off at this point because from here on forth i'm entering fangirl mode.

waiting for performance to start!

damnit blur :( haha but i was laughing too hard at how ellen and xuzi were trying to squeeze into the pic too!

even typing at so many days' remove i can still recall a fair number of the items. i rmb alvan's as being very happy/stuntish-- and VERY reminsicent of rag!; liren's as really funny (hey you might have a fangirl somewhere! cos one of my friends was gushing about some guy who held up a teddy bear, but i couldn't figure out if she meant the fairground shooting one or the mr bean one) haha i heart mr boombastic it's damn cute! and suspenders! the handkerchief kissing thing also!; the chinese dance thingy as being a little bit out of place but technically sound-- and typically chinese dance of course. the girls are all skinny and elegant looking :(; then of course there was the fairground one, which was EURGH so cliched for a while i wanted to scream-- THEN the dominatrix gf came out. HEH. and of course the contemp-ish dance-- to mika's grace kelly! the moment i heard that song i thought: "DANCEFLOOR. PLATINUM. WOOTS". and i liked it :D

there were particularly memorable items/bits of choreo as well: i liked the one with the light-bars, although i was horribly afraid that one would malfunction or something. eurgh i obviously cannot find my programme booklet and have resorted to general name-giving. clarissa's choreo for boys meet girls i mean boys or girls or EURGH i have confused them was good: it was very obvious that she was meant to catch the eye, but i think her girls matched up well. and wilkson did not flub his steps! haha. he'd been so sian the day before when he said he messed them up. and of course there was the "he had it coming" item-- chicago ftw! "he ran into my knife... he ran into it ten times!"

we'd thought the asian house of beauty item might be sleazy or mostly posturing or something (EURGH i rmb watching a girls' hiphop item a looong time ago where the only things the girls did were walk and pose and slide into splits and then do some mass dancey actions together. not. not. not. good) but it was not! i liked the fans; they made very good use of them and HEH guess who i spotted and started screaming for (although she did not hear me. POK.). shitty damn hot k cannot play play-- she'd flick her fan a little bit more and pose a little bit more and her yan-shen was so different from the usual ditzy shitty! haha. PLUS she had a tatt on her belly. HA whatever happened to demure hc councillor who always tucked in her shirt eh. (of course the usual ditz re-appeared later when she said "oh my i want to take a picture with that girl in red i think she's a very good dancer!". FANGIRL... of yuko! hahaha)

fangirl pretending to be demure when she's really squealing inside
smokkkkkin'
unglam pic she'd KILL me. haha. which is why this is not on facebook. heh!!

there was something about Bleeders too-- a vampiric saga? i think that was the group that used the world is not enough, which i'd never known was sung by garbage! i liked that one quite a lot-- but hey, it's vampires, i'd like it anyway.

and raffles museum of danceversity was damn funny :D i LIKE. the mummies were v cool i think the lone girl dancer in that group is v pretty! it was so mu nai yi :D heh yes rampant jj-fanaticism. spice girls v cuteeee

ARGH i cannot do this i need to blog in bullet points or sth. i'm gg to type random things!
- zhiwen's solo in the nerd-geek-cool-kids item
- amy's smouldering gaze!
- chii tarng's expression in the eusoff item-- he really seems so very different when he dances
- dismas and his torso pops
- yuko was extremely cute in about a bean! her smile was so infectious :):)

and the items i liked the best: hoo boy. v hard to decide. i'll go with the ones that made the biggest impressions on me-- of course the combined item was good, since it had so many blast members (ok i'm biased. sue me). i thought my throat would tear open when the blue spotlight came on and suddenly it was just chii tarng and weina dancing-- oh darn i forgot the song. ARGH. i remember thinking that it was such a sly and yet ABSOLUTELY brilliant tactic to get them to dance it together.

and then there was vincent, which looked rather familiar (very where-did-my-baby-go), but the song is lovely and thomas' emoting was heartfelt to say the least. i gasped when he smashed the painting.

and weijie and mel in treasure-- that performance was sobering. i won't say more, but it's amazing what the scattering of a handful of silver glitter and the idea conveyed through a dance can achieve. i was a whole lot more civil to my parents this entire week.

jubilant dementia-- i've been saving this one heh. i still cannot believe that they used within temptation! i think i basically liked and felt all the songs that they were using, but the sanctus inspiritus one really came as a surprise. and the staging and colours, formation-- everything. it kind of elevated the usual boys-fight-over-a-girl trope into something more-- ethereal? not exactly. i can't find the word-- maybe the sheer viscerality of the costume colours or the amalgamation of all the different dance styles-- breaking, a bit of contemp, hip hop, -- some pas de deux?-- were the clinching factors? anyway i likeeee.

phototaking and congratulations thereafter :)

fritzie the soccer girl: "she's like a STAR, like a STAR"

erhem. less said about this the better. HAHA.
pop-leg happy!

mel! the friendly one who always saved my butt in property or contract, i forget which. obviously i';m not usually awake during lessons.

mr boombastic himself! :):)
colours and inversion. i pride myself on having noticed!

lots of pic takinggg

happy people :):) ellen looks GORGEOUS.
my fellow lawyer/senior-for-two-schools-who-is-now-my-junior.

aisha, who comes without fail to support us all the time. this girl is a joy to dance with! and she brought chocs for alvan heh obviously she remembered this:HAHA.



BLAST. <3




_____________________________________________
(typed LATEST)
dinner after we inveigled ellen not to go to tanah merah whoops. haha i think YY and XZ are unbearably cute hehehe the process of deciding to go for dinner was protracted but highly amusing. (note to self: remember ellen's recommendation for morally upright vegetarian stall along the way to holland v). ellen hugs hugs :)

so! spontaneous let's-celebrate-fred's-birthday dinner at holland v, before which we got distracted by guinea pig hunts, mournful mops and perky pompoms and squashed-face felines nestling in a cage under a radio which miaowed. really. and we also saw a television set for hamsters! unfortunately ellen's chubbs requires a 42 inch lcd, not this normal-sized CRT set heheh. maybe smaller baby hamsters could fit into it or sth. eventually we ended up at essential brew (we passed foster's, xf! scones!) where apparently everything is tea infused-- drinks, salmon, honey mustard chicken, rice, spaghetti. okay maybe not xuzi's spaghetti i don't think it was green tea mushroom or something hurhur. the food was damn good! although fred kept getting leg cramps.

very pretty!--- the phone la. HAHA ;P

the mushroom and cheese lover who refuses to eat vegetables rarr

birthday boy who cannot stop singing bottle pop

food glorious food and i spy a very sweet background

left to right: oomph! (what kind of drink name is it haha you try and order a drink called oomph and still sound dignified), temptation island, jasmine rice balls and fred. with another kooky expression. COOKIE expression

ellen teaching me how to use the macro function on my very old camera!
obviously i still need practice. a lot of it. eurgh.

eh random realisation our initials are all at the tail-end of the alphabet.

lurked there for ages; helped ellen do work regarding internet advertisement; pondered why parliamentarians "beg to move"; considered in passing natural law truisms; talked about work, and pay, and selling of vouchers to glamourplace.blogspot.com and novena square; tried to decipher a silver card that ellen had; read suad card i'd given to her (touched!!); was mercilessly laughed at for having written "dance models" instead of "dance uncensored" on the feedback form; watched ellen's v dope vid of this 14 (15?) y/o girl who is apparently swedish (old video. maybe she teaches. YAY can dance in uppsala. i HOPE); had very nice drinks-- one filled with sawdust apparently since everyone coughed when they drank it (mine) and one that everyone liked (fred's temptation island) and one very prettily presented (ellen's berry dreams? garden of berries?) and one which er somehow evolved into whether-honey-would-dissolve-in-it-water (HAHA).

yay i've missed emcc. :):) this was a GOOD revisitation.

apart from that deliciously delightful sunday... monday i self-vee-ed the law dinner outing (eurgh too tired for some reason) and spent the time instead feeding krys my yogurt and muesli mixture (which she liked!); tuesday instead of properly studying we devoted the afternoon to dissections and confessions-- girltalk, in short, which proves my point that probably every girl needs a reformed (semi, at least) bitchy screwball of a girl pal (yours truly) who can interpret reactions because she, or at least her bitchy confederates, manipulated those reactions into being in the first place; we then drove home to (GOOD GOD) got introduced to you by a fri-end, you were cute and all that, baby you set the trend, yes you did oh, which i had discovered languishing in a cupboard earlier that day and had resolved to bring to school because HEY. it was CLASSIC. i mean who doesn't want to choke on her own laughter and struggle to stay upright and drive-worthy while the passenger seat occupant warbles oh my preetty preettty boyy i love you like i never ever loved no oneee before youuu. and pretty good warbling it was, too-- if ever there's an m2m special on don't forget the lyrics you know who to send.

on wednesday as karma for being ex/present-bitchy i crashed the car on the way to fetch my sister, but found that my dad took the tidings in a strangely jolly manner (errrr chicken wings and fries to celebrate? hur?); he wasn't quite so happy the following morning when he took it to the workshop and realised it was more damaged than we'd thought (SIX HUNDRED. CRIES.). refusing to get behind the wheel at all anymore-- and not likely to be allowed behind the wheel anymore, really-- i got a lift from dad to school and thereafter to ntu, where i spent a very jolly thursday night at ning's humble but very pleasant abode (where we did not run, having been limited by my dad [DARK! DANGEROUS! STRANGERS! MURDERERS!] and ning [MYSTERIOUS THINGS HAPPENING IN NTU! NOT CLEAN!]. of course we mutually regretted it-- what a beautiful night it would have been to hit the hills :( ). we woke to scrumptious breakfast on friday morning and she walked me out to the bus stop where i had an all too short ride (no, it was NOT 75 minutes as promised by iris. i want my long bus ride!) back to bukit timah for an equity tutorial i had not prepared for.

unfortunately the tutor eyed me so often that i felt obliged to say a number of completely inane things, including "yes... he was in a position of trust and dependence with his employer because he was allowed to handle the money and... er... mix the jealously-guarded rojak recipe..."

*faints*

ARGH. that reminds me. SOMEONE suggested that this blog be renamed ditzydamsel.blogspot.com. i'm not ditzy!! ok damn the rojak example didn't help. ok i'm not a damsel. that is teri cheng's purview. :P

and now on saturday morning i type this, ready to finish, happy because i watched the sunrise from my window with sarah mclachlan's ordinary miracle in my ears.



and, since we did not take photos for sleepover, and in tribute to the stars of the night (if not present you were at least much missed and talked about), i present the pics of long and long ago. novotel nights ftw! :)
where, however, is abby chan?!


(okay great after three days this post is done. good GRIEF.)
Posted at 11:30 AM