driving slow through the snow on 5th avenue

i hate this part is playing on mtv now, which reminds me of all i haven't blogged about. that song was one of the choreos we learnt from dance camp. and i swear it's ALL weiting's fault that i am now scrutinising the video for the part where apparently nicole scherzinger starts jumping up and down in her tiny white tank in the rain and she's not wearing a bra. hahahaha.

but i ADORE that song. so i really enjoyed the choreo too (the minor fact that i could follow about 70% of it must have helped, too).

camp really was very good. we learnt everything from house to reggae (oh loves! haha i really do think that is my fave style-- although i enjoyed all the classes i think i found calvin's most accessible, and i think the whole spread of styles in that class was helpful also. haha omg striptease. and "shining shining!" and of course sway :D i liked that! and tracy was right chun was really very good but i also liked rebecca's musicality a lot she was standing in front of me so since as usual i was scrambling to copy i watched her a lot haha) to la style (ahmad's. omg. CANNOT CATCH. but it was SUCH an inventive choreo! six-seven-eight-triple-nine-eight-two-one-two haha i have that song as my ringtone now so every time someone calls i delay picking up and i'll listen to that song or suddenly run through snatches of the choreo inside my head). i can't even really select a favourite class-- we had kate willis (which i really enjoyed-- the steps weren't easy, but there was that ever elusive flow), pat's swagga and i hate this part (DRAMA man, but i really liked the song!); alex ow's closer (that one, we ALL knew the lyrics too. but i found myself waggling my fingers and meshing part of the suad choreo into it by accident whoops. the rhythm was so very cool though-- i think the way we all got the rhythm of the floorwork immediately without his having to explicate was beyond cool) and ahmad's; then peter's jazz and calvin's.

without a doubt jazz was the most difficult and challenging for ALL of us-- the warm up alone was enough to reduce us to shivering wrecks literally haha i've never felt my muscles atrophy so much. not even my 38.4deg-inducing track training was anywhere near that level of physical exertion. but i liked that class too-- i've always thought the level of emotion that jazz dancers exhibit is... admirable. and it's something i've wished hip hop could have, but i guess the good thing about contemporary hip hop is that even though it doesn't necessarily have quite the specturm of emotion that jazz carries it is infused with some measure of emotion, and that's all for the good :):)

apart from classes we also had this one mass dance session by lina-- and she mixed one of my alltime favouritest song ever! haha mims' like this-- ever since karen did the choreo (how many years has it been omg. haha. i still rmemeber bits of it!!) i've liked that song. pity now i'm missing two counts somewhere i can't rmb the choreo haiz i was running it through my head on all my numerous subway rides in taiwan.

haiz i had a brainfart during the mini-comp and screwed up my moving mountain steps :(:( i KNEW i should have practised more the night before, but it was like 3am already and i have to say the temasek hall dance studio is pretty damn freaky late at night when no one else is around. i completely freaked out after dropping the key and making my way back to my room k because as i was passing this whole row of bushes-- at the darkest part of my journey back-- there was this rustling, and i just broke into a run.

now that i think of it it was probably just some hall-stayer doing stuff for rag or smth, but i really freaked. hhaha. they must have been amused to see my sprintin for my life hoho.

but i swear th was NOT this dark during law camp.

and anyway i ended up accidentally waking krystal and hazel respectively when i went to get my stuff to shower and to go back to sleep. that said, krystal and collen and hazel really were the coolest room mates to have haha they didnt mind it when i was extremely exceedingly messy and they were v v v friendly :):) almost wished the camp was longer hoho. and my group ppl weren't bad either although i definitely felt quite bloody inadequate-- as far and away the least pro senior amongst all the groups haha i've never felt quite so lacking (ok, i tell a lie, it's just that this time i tuo1 ren2 xia4 shui3). luckily i had karen and chun to save me!! chun helped tremendously-- in fact, she took over-- for the whole sentosa thing and the choreo station, which was great because i was feeling extremely zonked out and i probably wouldn't have been able to come up with a single thing anyway. and karen totally saved our asses on that last night as we rush-choreoed for the next morn's minicomp and she kept our morale up even as we watched all the other teams and how neat and clean they were. really really our mix master :)

right. i have breakfast with the LLBs (let me refresh your memory on that-- luscious law babes! haha)) in 7 hours and i CANNOT be late or i owe them breakfast for a month. haha. then i must visit the gouty one HAHAHA see la feast in japan somemore. THEN airport!

oh god damn i forgot to return my library books due 2.5 hours ago. and on a side note my sis has a friend called jesus and another called christopher. when they're together they're known collectively as jesus christ. HAHA. and once when someone said "oh my god" jesus said "yes?"

heehee. alright, one post down, there's still bugis sentosa taiwan and dance dance dance to write about!
i know this is the part where the end starts
Posted at 1:47 AM

currently sitting in my very overpriced hotel room eating yangchun mian after some nai you su thingy. like OMG stop eating!!!

dosn't help that all the hotels we've stayed at so far have NO gyms.

anyway taiwan is AMAZING. i'm having an awesome time-- apart from the madwomen attacking us on the streets, the horrible monster of a throat trying to rip out my larynx, and the various money rip offs. I've finally figured out something rather amusing-- my fmaily doesn't like to spend money, but they sure as heck like to WASTE it. today we hopped off on a one-day tour of taiwan and bought like 300 dollars' worth of pineapple tarts and blew 60 dollars on towels at a hot spring like wth. oh but seriously the kicker was this tea place that we went to. i have to admit, the tea was very very very good, and i'm as much a sucker for green tea as any girl, but 200 bucks for green tea powder?!?!

as i sat there listening to the man vent his spiel and sell his gimcracks i had this complete sense of deja vu. replace "green tea powder" with "ginseng powder" and "egg yolks" with "egg whites" etc and suddenly we'd be back in korea like 3 years ago where my mum happily spent 2.5k on ginseng powder and gel or whatever the hell it was. that was 2.5k usd, wham, bam, thank you ma'am. i waggled my face and eyebrows madly at my parents today and we almost got out of there unscathed, but then my sister had a pang of guilt because the "tea teacher" had been so very earnest and sincere in giving his talk on all the wonderful properties of his teas and powders and had given us like free packets of tea for answering his questions or for slurping tea the loudest or something. no one else on the tour bought anything, so they felt even worse and decided to show their support.

with 200 bucks. on a canister of green tea powder. whoo-ee.

i just shook my head in sheer resignation, but as i stepped out of the tea room i found myself not so much resigned at their willingness to purchase as at my willingness to disbelieve. some things need magic in life, not my curious brand of disinterested cynicism shielded by a front of politeness. perhaps it was true-- they gave us 5-dollar packets of tea in return for a 200-dollar purchase, but we were paying as much for charm and service and in a way out of a sort of goodness of the heart, a goodness and simplicity of wonder at the world that is absent in mine. i couldn't help but think that i would a very good stereotype of a lawyer-- heartless, gutless, spineless, blah blah blah.

BLEH.

today dawned freezing as we woke in new-old unfamiliar rooms over danshui, having watched the sunset from fisherman's wharf after a bracing boat ride (which i loved, stretching my hands out into the spray of the speedboat's wake and exulting in the chill of the water on my skin. those waves were wonderful!). shivering in our cable-knit sweaters, caps pulled low and hoodies pulled high, we breakfasted on mos burgers before rushing to catch trains back to ximen for the tour. and what a tour it was! i've always always adored long long road journeys-- which is why i prefer the bus to mrt, even in sg. but apart from the winding wending trails of the journey, there was also the marvel of the sea at yeh liu, where freakish weather had driven the waves to an abnormal high as they crashed against potholes and rocks in the driving drizzle and the sub-10degree winds. the confluence of two winds over the pacific oceans-- what a sight. i have a few pictures, and i'll happily put them on as soon as i can actually find my cable. but you had to be there, watching the lonely profile of the queen's head rock as she stared out to the wild, wild, tempestuous sea, waiting and looking for someone never coming home, waiting as the sun and winds and rains sapped her strenth and waited to snap her neck and end her vigil.

after that we sojourned to the hot springs where i nearly died-- not of mortification as one would think (we used 2-person rooms la, so i guess it was ok haha and anyway the water was murky with sulphur) but from sheer giddiness. both my sister and i nearly fainted because we happily forgot to replace the spring waters with COLD water rather than broiling ourselves throughout, and i suspect some part of it was due to our mutual anemia (bleh. side-effects of vegetarianism). haha wandering how xf fared in japan's springs.

i've just been clambering about taiwan eating and feasting and everything these days. but results are out tmr. sigh. don't want to think about it.

ok. 1.15am. time to sleeeeeeeeep :) STILL haven't found xf's rectangular mirror!

and i like airline food!!! hohohoh
Posted at 11:09 PM

six seven eight triple nine eight two one two

what a BLAST. dance camp was DAMN DAMN fun i can't believe i kept thinking about not going. i must admit that i kept thinking of ways to try and get out of it-- especially after michelle told me i was supposed to be a group leader, because in cases where i have to interact with people i always do TERRIBLY since i'm a complete social retard-- but i;m really really really glad i went, even though tt meant i didn't get to send darling xf and ning off :(:( haha but oh wellsl.

and, as always, when i promise myself to write stuff at camp, i don't. BLEH. and after four full days of dance-dance-dance-dance (love love love) i can barely remember what went on because my tired foggy mind is fuzzed over and spinning with scraps of half-recalled choreo. we had master classes-- about two of them, each day-- from mon to wed.

and as much as i'd like to wax lyrical about them it s now 4am and i have a terry pratchett book to finish, packing to finalise, and some elusive shuteye to catch.

just one last thing first...
i really think the camp wasn't half-bad at all but i know the comm weren't very pleased... or at least so mich said on like wed night. haiz. the stress on them is tough la but man i think they should be bloody proud of themselves they really do have something to show for their efforts. and the tee design is v v nice! :D it really stands out. i only wish i got a bigger size bleh i never know what size to get cos i swim in m and suffocate in s. but i digress.

as you can tell my thoughts are wandering. my mind is in this fug (as in bad air, not the lousicated spelling of fuck) of headachy weariness and i am sick as a dog. at least the cold didn't take during camp.

but oh, my head, my head.

hopefully it'll magically disappear in 3 hours' time i'm downing generous doses of awfully bitter concoctions in the hope that it will!

can't read my can't read my no he can't read my poke face
Posted at 3:47 AM

life's been good and passing too fast.

i should stop looking on shopping as a wonderful marvellous past-time, because this past-time-- from which i always come back rather tired, but reasonably happy i suppose-- has managed to leave me 600 dollars poorer as of 13th december 2008, but god knows how or why.

my bulging wardrobe, the doors of which now refuse to shut, may contain an answer. hmmmms.

anyway went to borrow books AGAIN. i counted EIGHT shelves of knitting books, which was about enough to drive any sane girl stark raving mad. i mean, all i want to do is knit a SCARF. do i need EIGHT shelves for that?

i panicked and picked the thinnest book i could find. (a couple of days later, with brand-new knitting needles in hand and unravelling yarn before me, i discovered WHY it was so thin. some enterprising asshole of a cheapo had ripped out about 20 pages instead of photocopying them)

thursday was MARVELLLLOUS. i love my creatures, and even though we didn't get even remotely enough sun to get even a smidgen of a tan the day was way too short and way too fun. :):):) i need a long proper post about that! with pics!

considering however that it is 3.45am and i have to be at kent ridge at 9 am...

oh well. it IS late i guess. just wanted one last thought-- went shopping (AGAIN omg my poor wallet) on saturday night and saw this chess player at bugis. if you pass him-- for chrissake, just drop him a dollar or so. he only needs 2000dollars-- if only a hundred passers-by took out the smallest denominated note we have in this sainted country of ours he'd be home to see his dad.

that deserves greater mention too, and i shall bring a notebook and pen to write it during camp or smth and then post it up.

yes, dance camp. oh gods i am a bit freaked i haven't danced since like suad. i think the worst thing about dance-- as in, dance in a group-- is that in a way it's completely against the grain of how i've behaved since like forever. as in, sore-thumb-sticky-out weird, not fitting in, etc.

dance has a LOT to teach me, man. and i have a lot to learn.

oh well. hope everything goes well.

might try to escape on wed so i can send the creatures off! bon voyage darling horny and greedy! :):) will miss you loaaaads. have fun i) hot springing and ii) shopping/ mountain climbing respectively hahaha. lil miss sexy i want dinner with you before YOU fly off too :s

and BUSTY. i haven't seen you in FOREVER but i was springcleaning tonight and i read some of your lambda messages haha. AND zy's too. AND jin's! hahaha yes i am a hoarder.

strike a match go on and do it
Posted at 3:54 AM

BOOKS GALORE :D what can be more enticing than a veritable smorgasbord of read-material right after yummy breadtalk chased down with cheesecake?

(maybe if the truffle didn't end up looking like crap... and if i hadn't blown 17bucks on cabfare rrargh)

but oh well.

the promise of much sun sand sea surf! PLEASE DON'T RAIN, zeus!

and a thought, since i was spring-cleaning today (after waking at 3.05pm, having gone to bed at 8ish-am after getting the notion that i wanted to sketch dawn-streaked skies of the view from my window. didn't work, incidentally)-- hmms. a lot of things. mainly how much i detest springcleaning, but also about a snippet of what we were talking about in starbucks the other day.

reading some of the random things i kept-- sentimental value can be a powerful thing-- i thought: i don't really have issues. if the right person had been there-- and i definitely know, reading those thingamajigs, that that person DID surface, for a time, those issues would have been-- what's that chinese phrase-- guo4 yan3 yun2 yan1. or something like that.

so, frankly, i take it all back.

it's you. not me. HAR.


bon voyage krys!!

bandy words, throw caution to the wind
flirt in tacit electric flicks
brandishing blandishments on brandied lips
that would lock, lock, and throw away the keys
lickety-split, leave
and never look back.

i hold these shreds
Posted at 3:54 AM

with the exception of tonight-- this morning-- last night-- whatever, which was spent getting lost on the roads of midnight singapore and scaring the living daylights out of xf (and later myself, when i wound up in the middle of a very deserted eunos/ubi area after every single route i tried to take either was blocked off for stanchart or gleefully obstructed by orange reflective panels of roadworks) by climbing "the highest point on earth in a low car" (mount kerb) and er weaving dangerously from lane to lane and threatening to run red lights and parking in two lots simultaneously while being laughed at by packs of sneering smoking subaru speedsters standing surreptitiously in the surrounding shadows

-- whew that was an unexpectedly long sentence--

anyway. what turned out as a starbucks date evolved into a mad traipse about singapore after we dropped jia ni off for the night. we stopped at the newly refurbished dhs to check out what it looked like, wandered to shenton way and then china town and then clarke quay and then the padang and then bugis (would i QUIT with the wrong turns already hahaha sorry xf!!) before winding up about two streets away from our original starbucks sojourn. finding nothing to entertain us at kallang airport, we headed to the eerily crowded kallang macdonalds and debated what to consume after a hair-raising parking encounter which left me resolved to get tinted windscreens or a burqa so that no one would ever see my face out on the streets, ever, and xf in fits of hysterics at my utter ineptitude to park. she went for the healthy choice of crunchy cup corn untainted by partially hydrogenated vegetable fat (whipped margarine) while i, having had my nerves completely frazzled, gave in to temptation and got a hot fudge sundae.

NOT healthy.

of course after we were done and i dropped her off the roads then proceeded to be very very blocked with all manner of road blocks.bloody stanchart. i wound up circling like a hawk and contemplating whether to go through a geylang which would be undoubtedly congested or to take my chances trying to get to a highway i recognised after the myriad wrong turns i took. bleh. and OF COURSE the moment xf got off my car and i was alone it started raining. hahah.

but i got to the pie at long long last. and i swear, xf, i was DEFINITELY not a dangerous driver then. hahaha. i tell you it's the stress of having to not kill the persons in my vehicle that freaks me out and makes me that uber slow and pathetic-takes-300-m-to-change-a-lane idiot.

but i love night drives! so few cars are out on the roads that you can easily match the speed of the insane transcabs about you without worrying that you're going to get fined or smth.
____________________________________________________________________________
anyway, my point was that apart from tonight i've been more or less holed up in my house reading till 5 or 6 or 9am in the morning every day. since tuesday, i've gotten through phyllis reynold taylor's almost alice, naomi ragen (?)'s the covenant, halfway through yet another tom holt that i'm just going to give up on out of sheer unadulterated boredom, christopher pike's remember me (hahaha i needed brainless stuff), rachel caine's heat stroke (damn that was good) and another one called "the next thing on my list". am now currently on kite runner (FINALLY) and time traveler's wife. so many things i wanted to write about as a result of all the epiphanies from the books!


From Jill Smolinski's The Next Thing on My List:
This is Marissa Jones' list of 20 Things to Do by My 25th Birthday:
1. Lose 100 pounds
2. kiss a stranger
3. change someone's life
4. wear sexy shoes
5. run a 5k
6. dare to go braless
7. make buddy fitch pay
8. be the hottest girl at oasis
9. get on tv
10. ride in a helicopter
11. pitch an idea at work
12. try boogie boarding
13. eat ice cream in public
14. go on a blind date
15. take mom and grandma to see wayne newton
16. get a massage
17. throw away my bathroom scale
18. watch a sunrise
19. show my brother how grateful i am for him
20. make a donation to charity.

so i thought i wanted to make a list too, although those are usually reserved for like new year resolutions and stuff. but hey-- i might as well get a start, r i'll forget half of them:

things to do by my... uh... 22nd birthday?
1. run a marathon
2. run a half-marathon
3. run two 10 Ks, UNDER 1 hour
4. learn to knit
5. play the guzheng
6. swim
7. cycle
8. dance
9. be thankful for my friends
10. be decent to my family
11. wear SENSIBLE-- not sexy-- shoes to places like, i don't know, school. *glares at shoe cupboard full of incriminating evidence and things like bronze furry three inch boots worn a grand total of three times and silky killer red stilettos, brand new and still wrapped)
and etc. but i'm sure stuff will come in later, this is just the start.
i only hope i don't get squashed under a car the way marissa jones did.

But really, that book was gooood. for a while i lived the life of a woman who dared to step out and be different and abandon her comfort zone for a whole new zone of embarrassment and horrifying situations that of course came with their own utterly satisfying rewards. :)

i really want to learn how to knit. hoho. and possibly-- uh-- cook. hee.


from phyllis reynolds naylor's almost alice:
i adore the way this book is bound. it's got the same vibe as its main character and the promise of the story within its covers-- plain-jane sweetness and simplicity that doesn't, even in the midst of its practical, unadorned nature, fail to warm the reader's heart or at least allow her-- me-- to identify with it. after reading it-- there were no highs, not many lows-- but it resonated, quietly, undramatically. it was a book about friendship and how friendships are built on the simplest of things, and all i can say is that it reminded me to be truly grateful for the friends i have. so, to ni, ning, xf, abby-- babes, you've ALWAYS been there for me. not exploding when i storm off in the middle of the night (er-- i tried to pin it down to one time, but ah ha ehhhh mos wasn't the only time SHEEEET. haha. there's still marina square-- my ULTRA DRAMA MOMENT when i tried to throw pictures in the water and made you hang around outside the toilet while i barricaded myself in and refused to talk)-- and tampines mall and sleepover nonsense and school and AHHHHH. oh my god. i don't see how you girls put up with me because if i were you i think i sure as heck wouldn't take my nonsense i'd throw myself away la. you've

accompanied me on night time runs that resulted in nasty scrapes and bad ankles, hopeless blading attempts,
fruitless shopping trips,
attending suspicious dance classes,
going to wakes of friends far too young to say goodbye to,
dealt with my suspicious messages during exams,
listened to me emo till 4 in the morning (this goes out to all of you man. haha. esp those sleepovers. and also ni!!! that insane phone call when i all did was whine! or in ning's case 5 plus 6 on chinese new year eve)
squished with me through insane crowds trying to cop a feel or a steal(!!!) on new year's eve (er heehee i guess the punching and kicking was kind of fun in a scary painful way)
rescued me from random strangers in dubious clubs (wah jia ni THANKS MAN i really really owe you one)
rescued me from random waiters in dubious coffee houses (haha ning this one goes to you)
supported me for all sorts of weird things-- SISTER LIGHT SISTER DARK. wth. hhaha. RESONANCE OF A THOUSAND STRINGS i cna't believe you kept the tickets. SHUT UP AND DANCE hahaha where a random suspicious person popped into your pics! eh and abby haha you even brought your significant other to support. wth chubby cheeks HAHA)
ran away from scary muttering people in the night
walked home from dunman
not laughed-- too hard-- at my dress sense. EH. i've improved la at least i no longer show up in too flashy ensembles heeheehee
in fact, went along with my crazy outfit ideas-- dress day, scarf day, whatever. haha seaweed!
complain about random boyfriends together and scheme to matchmake new ones HEEHEEHEE
put up with my tarot readings HAHA
ATTENDED RANDOM TALKS IN BOTANICS hahahah "pretend you're a tree"!!!!
and, most recently, taken rides in my cars and valiantly not puking or screaming or laughing. too much. bleh

i swear, i'm a bad influence on you girls. haha. if i never show or if i don;t ever say it or even when i say the complete opposite-- i'm DAMN DAMN DAMN grateful to have you girls around. you totally keep me sane and seriously who else would put up with this much rubbish.

i LOVE you girls. :):):)
________________________________________________________

dragged out the heirloom from its smelly green coffin the other day to attempt to play it and halfway through some song or another as i pressed down on one string it snapped. i was lucky it didn't put out my eye or smth. bleh. and i managed to lose all my nails so now i have to play with my fingers.

i swear my teacher had to be one of the only ones who actually made his students cut up guitar picks for thumb-nails. the only good thing is that they're easier to find. and a damn sight cheaper than the tortoise shell ones for the rest of the fingers.


alright too long post. back to kite runner!


one last thing-- this is for nette. it came from one of the books i read the past days but for the life of me i can't rmb which it is:
"i don't go around talking about how much i want to sleep with orlando bloom but the day that he shows up on my door step asking me to rub lotion on his back my answer will be hell YES."

congenere
Posted at 4:33 AM

WHAT is it with random old dudes who stick their faces in yours and stare at you like you've got feelers growing out of your nose or smth??? worse still, those who go "heh heh heh" or "helllooooo"??
Posted at 3:11 AM

i am a punkrocker with flowers in my hair who gets lost driving home too fast on lonely highways circling to ulu pandan and holland and farrer and cluny and then of all things to btc whereupon we started recognising things and i managed to find my way home.

and get this-- i PARKED the damn car. in the face of about 5 other vehicles laughing scornfully at me and refusing to back off and give me space to reverse in.

admittedly only after 30 mins, but oh wells.

what a revelation today was. haha. i drove but ending up taking the mrt after parking cos i didn't trust myself to get another spot after waiting for 30mins for one parking lot-- went off to get my lib card and borrow books! poor random ang waited for me so patiently and got hit on by random people. hoho. met lots of people on the streets-- some guyu from law whose name i forgot, and sheng rong, and my seniors. apparently ni and ning were wandering around town too but i didn't bump into them. bought flowers for hair (heeheehee) :) cedele dinner-- we walk and repeat our tracks, every year. doesn't this sound familiar-- first cedele, then the marvel of paragon's impeccable christmas lights, and then starbucks (AGAIN!) haha.

krys darling hope your ankle gets better soon :(

alright not much to say and i want to read my books. adiooooosssss.
Posted at 1:08 AM

just because i seem okay doesn't mean i'm ok

i swore i'd never be one of those girls who expect you to know when yes=no, no=yes or maybe just hell, read my mind. but now i'm beginning to understand why sometimes you just can't bear to bring yourself tospeak, because sometimes things are so fucking obvious you should bloody well get it without having to be told what you did wrong.

oh but to you it isn't wrong, is it.

it's been going on like this forever.

your time is precious, i know. so is mine. so maybe we should just stop wasting each other's time because i sure as hell have got a better life to lead than one burdened by your whims.

i'm sick of giving in.

i don't know you anymore

whatever. company ended today. it was an almost disaster i sat and blinked blankly at question 2 for the longest time and ended up scanning my companies act for some sort of divine or at least statutory intervention/inspiration. when it was over krys and i promptly dashed down to the slr room after she did her primary school kid thing (HAHA) whereupon we cleaned out the fridge and distributed our assets (fixed, not floating, hahahaha)-- tea biscuits to nette, green tea to krys and choc digestives and ritter sport to me me me. whee. did rachel get the daims? don't rmb. ben and jerry, being grossly half-eaten, was consigned to the waste bin; jin instigated us to write postcards for emily, a task i was grossly incoherent and evidently inadequate at after the mad scribblefest that was company. we cleared up, bade farewell to the suddenly forlorn room (i think without aidil in there it really loses something hahahah) and walked out into a slightly-overcast sky of freedom and love and joy and it's-good-to-be-alive.

gower and sealy went back to where they belonged-- the library-- and then we traipsed down the slope and i attempted to run in my tent of a skirt and my too-shiny heels. having gained a reprieve from my heavily sour thoughts and good unexpected company (HAHA umarkand. umakant?)with the sunshine of nette and krys we bounced off to 171 and headed for town. unable to persuade haogen to get a purple manicure (welll. we didn;t try very hard) krys and i said bye to nette (who was crystal jading, while i was krystle-jading. omg ok lame) and hopped off for mani and pedis. i didn't do my nails, opting to get a fuller pedi instead of express. but my mum and sis both complained that my poplicious atomic orange toes look horrid.

our toes matched our towels. heehee.





we shopped, i constructed a necklace; we talked, and thought of causes. life's too short to mellow much further, and in fact i think i've had enough of mellowing. i want my voice back, i want my self back, i want to stop acquiecsing and pretending everything';s okay when it's not. hell, i'd take the temper and the drama back, too.

loved the grayness of the evening in the chilling twilight.

krys left and i joined felki he monster and chuos the small one (as yz always calls her). got accosted along the way by 2 separate people-- one with the commercial-behaviour-bestowed "sob story" (aiyah BUSINESS STUDENTS AH. hahahaha) and another who handed me yet another of those little gray cards (i've got six now. but if it somehow leads to a money making opportunity....). dinner at nihon mura where we were regaled by the LEGEND. oh my god. hahaha. sometimes guys ought to be shot. long talks, long walks, until we left to catch the last train after ice cream and orange drinks at good old macs. i left for a walk and wound up at newton food centre where i joined my mum and dad for carrot cake and ice jelly and then sojourned to marina mandarin to pick up a carload of dressy teenagers drunk with youth and self-confidence before we drove off into the night. 10 people in one car, mind you.

now i'm home and here typing and dreaming of things i want to say.

there is no bravery in shooting a woman, or for that matter a human. forget gender, forget age, forget race-- there is no holiness about fear and abject cruelty. this world twists us, but we choose the direction in which we turn.

and sometimes it takes one smile, carelessly, happily thrown over one gently-lifted shoulder, to remind us that there can be no sort of compromise in security. we are reminded of how much can be hurt, how much there is to lose.

makes black friday shopping pale so much in comparison. especially with the callousnes sof human beings who would trample one of their own to death and then shout in anger when told the store is closing because of the death.



alright. books tomorrow! :D



the night starts here
Posted at 1:51 AM