if we go there you can still touch my love it's free
we can work without the perks just you and me
thug it out till we get it right
IT'S OVER. (and i don't have nearly ENOUGH pictures. i mean, look at costumes alone, i NEVER did get a pic of my gold costume and i don't think i have one of the purple. i am pretty damn sure i don't have one of the green one. and DEFINITELY no donk outfit. ARGH. hahaha)
but that's really superficial. i can't even begin to tell you how glad i am-- how utterly proud and grateful (and still disbelieving/incredulous) i am--
i can actually call myself a dancer. :D
never mind the fact that i still pretty much SUCK. haha. it's still a dream come true :):):)
thanks everyone for coming!
- dear sister light huiwen (who DRESSED the part hahaha. DAMNIT we should have taken a pic with one of our swordfighting poses [minus the time when she whacked me on the head]) who rushed down from camp with her bf;
- the LLBs who showed up with a cactus and a winnie the pooh water bottle HAHA and who gave me the WEIRDEST looks during the entire performance. i mean, krys, what was with the face?? hahahaha. AND LYNETTE ALSO omg hahaha;
- the raggers and their respective other/better (heeheehee) halves. i'm glad they enjoyed the show! haha and EURGH the lame stuff about how yonghui and chengying actually do qualify as blast alumni technically. right. these are corporate lawyers to be, my dears;
- my parents and my brother! i can't believe he actually DID tear himself away from the comp long enough to watch a show hahah-- and of course my parents, who've sacrificed so much just to help their insufferably ungrateful and unfillial daughter fulfill this tiny tiny dream. they transported me around, carted bar chairs up cars, suffered through insane drives (ok, TWO of them. but eh who asked them to let me drive on the expressway after 7 hours of dance. hahahhaa), fetched me to school on ungodly sat mornings, stayed up and waited for me till 12 plus-one every night i had dance... love you love you!! :):)
- and of course, my dearest dearest dearest creatures! ning, ni, abby-- it was so so good to see you all there. :) i adore you girls! haha. eh and mr i-call-your-friend-chubby-cheeks also. hahahaha. damnit. *pokes own face* thanks for the flowers, all, and the time taken to watch me. hahaha. when i think of all the CRAP i put you through-- trying to dance all night during our sleepovers or when we're er chinese new year visiting, subjecting you to the horrors of my uh lack of coordination or overenthusiasm in various dodgy clubs... hahaha. whoopsy. OH OH and making you guys dance in class. HAHA. eh but i must claim credit only where it is due-- the stupid mel c and bryan adams "when you're gone" or whatever was my fault, but the lion king one was ning's. TOTALLY. :D but really thanks much. you've been there for me all the time-- i don't even know where to put the latest bouquet because i still have all your other posies and nosegays (haha) from all the other performances. POCKETFUL OF POSIES :D
post-concert blues still looming. sigh. but i'm getting by, i'm living on a prayer, i'm holding on to the ghost of everything that's been and gone. how much so? very much so. yesterday walking in from the mrt station i turned on my player and spent the next ten minutes going through all my steps again :D and i just remembered all the practices and the entire concert and how wonderful it was. even the lowest crevasses of the lowest valleys-- even they were good, because i learnt something from them. ALL of them.
and my fellow dancers-- how could i forget? my awesome choreographers, who made me feel for my items in a way i never thought i could before-- idil who made me understand the importance of teamwork and uniformity and that dance is never (ok rarely) about free-soloing and more about working with everyone else in the item as a whole; ahmad who told us to dance from the heart, who taught us lines and control and tension and strength and the need to dance outside my comfort zone and to go further and better and higher. their creativity is AMAZING. they're so completely not your usual run of choreographers; i don't know how to put it. they really meld so many styles together-- even jamal would have been proud of them (and he was critical of hip hop because it seems like all we do is run around in a group go har rarr RARR for a few eights and then run to another formation and har rarr RARR for another few eights.). these choreos had stories, and visions, and dreams, and life.
(i think this entry is going to go on forever)
ok. i have to cut this shorter, man, because if i could choose any topic to write my thesis on this would probably be it. because i just can't stop/ i just can't stop/ i just can't stop hahahaha. everyone really amazed me, but here are some of those up for special mention. jinglin, fred, yvonne h (yvonne power!)-- thanks for the gifts! fred's message really touched me also. AND I STILL OWE THEM MY CARDS hahaha. mich rose-- it was awesome working with her, the girl i shall forever remember as the one who saves my sanity, who stands up in times of stress and comes through stronger, the one who met my glance as we finished reading idil's messages to us only to realise that we both had tears in our eyes. dressing room 7, for pure girlfriendship and camaraderie and bonding and picnics and eyelash sticking and gossiping and trauma hahahaha. eva, who twisted her ankle but still danced like a dream, who is an awesome awesome awesome girl; she and elson came up to me after the concert to tell me to keep dancing and to dance for myself and not care what others said. i was so touched-- i still (almost, almost, i'm not that big a crybaby) tear a bit la. these are WONDERFUL people.
blessed (=
three shows; i messed up the first-- i even wrote down my mistakes haha because i was so mortified! my fan came out late on "and the light burns right off the rock- KIAK!" hahaha and my positioning was off for the last part-- i nearly tripped rebecca because i didn't move back enough. for ahmad's item i forgot to do the "cross-open-up-down" backing and turned to run instead omg damn obvious can. 2nd performance, standing right in front first row, for the with you transition instead of going left-wave-right-back i did RIGHT WAVE. obvious much. but the 2nd performance was HORRIBLE i had NO energy NO feeling and i just felt so empty and void. i was just so TIRED. i think people saw it haha when i walked out of the theatre ahmad was like "you okay? *pat pat*".
no major mistakes for the third performance, except that i couldn't maintain my footing for the opening item and my hands fluttered up two steps too soon (but quickly descended again once i realised my error) at the end of idil's item.
but-- hmms.
i think the closest i came to feeling raw emotion was the first performance-- the matinee. i've never blogged about this before, but--
i'm cutting this entry into half. it's madness otherwise. haha.