yvonne has been a rather deliciously, deliriously indulgent girl.

well, for yesterday and today, at least.

what's life without a bit of pleasure now and then, you say. welll, now, how about considering the fact that i have something called a bloody memo to hand up this saturday. oh i forgot, this FRIDAY because i'm gg to PLAYYY this saturday.

whoops.

oh well, live life on the edge, right?

and so on wednesday alone yvonne had two close, cosy and very satisfying encounters with two of her major loves. i could go into more torrid details about how it got rather hot and sweaty, but before you get any wrong ideas i really have to clarify things. hehe.

so-- first encounter of the day. my first love, always and forever-- the beat within your fingers, the tingle in your toes, the need to let it all out, the will to lose control. dance! wednesday also happened to be audition day for second-sem-intake, so we didn't continue wynter gordon's surveillance (although lina tried to go through the moves with me to figfure out what the heck i was doing wrong) and instead

did

justin's

lovestoned.

aw you've got me lovestoned, alright

the choreography wasn't the easiest, but it wasn't the hardest either. it was just difficult to link it all together-- but hey, that's what practice and muscle memory's for, darlings. and i was happy-- usually i'm bloody stressed out when it doesn't gel together in my head really quickly, but even though i messed up plenty, every time the music stopped i was grinning from ear to ear. JOY. my first love, ALWAYS.

just wanted to run and run and run
i rushed back home because my sister said she wanted to go running, but she turned out to be her usual lazy bum self and so i went with my dad to his boxing class instead. for warm-ups we did a 40-minute run along the quiet night-time placidity of the kallang river, and it was extremely beautiful. night runs ftw! then we went back to the boxing place, but apparently the instructor didn't come that day so everyone was doing their own thing and i just wound up skipping away on my own. how silly. but er-- it felt WEIRD okay cos basically EVERYONE was male except for a 10-year-old girl who had followed her dad too. but she could box. i felt like such a cretin. haha i want to learn though it'd be good to exercise my arms a little instead of just bouncing around running away all the time.

the music of the spheres

third rendezvous this morning; when unaccustomed fingers pluck and strum and caress unquiet strings. i can barely remember how to do the yaozi anymore, and really everything sounds weird,. but at least i got to play a few notes. i miss that sound, man. i've really reeally missed it.

there. having been happified by such things it is time to hunker down to work.

you're the best thing about me

that's my fourth rendezvous, honeys. this saturday, babes, let's get out the party hats.
Posted at 11:33 AM

finally gave nette her jersey. hahaha. now i'm sitting in school kicking my memo and cudgelling my brains for something to write.

time's going by too fast. sigh.
Posted at 10:09 AM

lecturer: "ships don't last forever."

well, sir, nothing does, does it now.

i take a long time to get over someone. but once i do, honey,

i don't look back.








of course that kind of leaves me a nice little way out in the form of defining WHEN exactly i get over someone, doesn't it. oh well.
Posted at 12:45 PM

what. a. week.

actually, what a two weeks.

actually, make that three.

hahahah :P that's how much i haven't updated!!! oh mi gosh.

therefore, in order to allow myself the quiet little thrill of satisfaction that comes whenever i tick things off my to-do list (no, i'm totally kidding, it's just that it irritates me no end when i flip back and see these stupid things i haven't ticked off like "BLOG!!!" hahah), i'm going to do one of those sum-up-thingies.

THREE WEEKS BACK:
- friday, 11th january: watched eastern promises, which was a HORRIBLE show. it had none of the emotion that your name is justine did, and frankly the stroyline was passable but the raw violence and sheer-- well. viscerality of everything just knocked me over backwards. argh. the scene where the poor young guy "touched by the angels" was sliced a new smile in the region of his throat; the stark, unapologetic and utterly unwavering intrusion into the perfunctory rape scene-- although when he saved her i thought it was an unusually deft touch; the fight scenes-- ah. everything. anything. but the storyline was good. i guess i just wasn't used to the unflinching depiction of everything. no glossing over for this film, no.

campfire! haha. it's strange. i didn't really feel like i actually could stand going back after hc days were over-- i mean, no secret that i wasn't exactly the biggest fan of hc right. but ye gods it was good to be back. shuhui and i helped an old man to his wife's car haha. they were such a cute couple. and we got mrs ang and started screaming around together. and we danced and sang and laughed and it was actually FUN. strange how we maybe appreciate things only after they're gone. sort of.

supper at kap macs.
TWO WEEKS AGO
17th january, thursday blackjack night. damn fun. and i still think ning's makeup looked good. hehe. i got a LOT of weird stares when i finally walked out of school after changing and shoving all my things into my mailbox, but oh wellll.

18th january, friday i can't even remember if i've blogged about this yet, but basically it was the suspicious day when xf and i were feeling the same things and we found out after i went online and told her i was on the verge of calling her haha. after that we met up and feasted (i insisted, cos i was hungry) and played arcade games (FUN!!! haha daytona rocks. and house of the dead. but we kept dying whooops) and went to run.

i think night runs are fantastic.

there's something about the all-enveloping velvety darkness that you nestle into as you run, the tattoo your running-shoed-feet drum on the tarmac, the freedom of feeling free to run, the easy in-out of your breath. and knowing there's another heart's beat right next to you takes some of the lonesomeness out of the run that is inevitable, but all the more poignant at night because it grows so much keener.

that is, until you stupidly say too softly, "watch out" and she goes "hmm?" and trips. AHHHHHHH.

i think it totally looked like i pushed xf over, to the people coming behind. they stopped their car and asked if we were alright and offered handyplasts. we should have asked for tissue, because she was all scraped up on one elbow and had blood pooling on her thigh (ok, beading. not poolin). eeeeps. and she still wanted to run somemore after that!!! oh wells. since it was something like 2km from my house we walked a bit while she tried to see if her ankle would hold up and then did a cooldown back home.

after that we were more or less too tired to talk much and went to sleep. no supper. haha. we did conclude however that we were regressing to our childhood because the fall was so reminiscent of secondary school. and the games! haha arcade haha DAYTONA :P

OMG i can hear what my parents are watching and i think it's my stupid baby competition video. OMG. they actually dug that up. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i hate spring cleaning!!!!

saturday 19th jan blassssst class. haha. the little kids were so cute and i really couldn't get over the choreography of the witch doctor song. i told the witch doctor i was in love with euuuuu! haha! but... it was cool. i just never realised that a common adoration for dance could bind us all so-- neatly, never mind the racial boundaries, never mind the health issues, never mind that i'm a reticent non-speaker.

after that i went off to do my hair. bleh. it was meant to be purple. oh well.

sunday 20th jan cycled in the morning with the easties. didn't go far enough. but for once i was actually exercising! forgot that something called the brake existed midway through my cycle and ended up practically crashing into a tree. i've got a minor abrasion on my right calf to bear testament to the bike wheel's intimate encounter with my skin. tsk.

ning's house after. lurked around a lot, talked, got stunned by "i bust doom high" (drunk-sms-speak for i just damn high, which we figured out after a few hours). ordered pizza-- poor substitute for SPIZZA, but WELL someone had to get stinking drunk and hung over. hahahha. gooood to meet up, though. and to learn that dbl o is forever never going to be a creature outing location HAHA.

alright. that's all for now. i'll continue later-- dinnner! off and out and away we go~

summer sunshine for a season
Posted at 6:49 PM

needs to stop slacking and get her derriere (yes, i'm paraphrasing britney) in gear.

bah. it was so much nicer sitting in tcc sipping raspberry tea freezes and eating tofu cheese tortellini, laughing at a too-sweet matcha mambo and too-salty sea asparagus chowder and the crazy pictures we can take.

or at white rose cafe? foster's? eating a rather hearty devonshire cream tea.

sigh.

oh well, fellas, it's back to the grindstone we go. hi-ho, hi-ho.

this is a delicate unravelling
Posted at 1:13 AM

oh and jn i like the bracelet very much :) i'm wearing it everyday la.

it's like--

none of the keys open any of the locks. and so certain hearts are meant to stay locked. or something. anyway THANKS *hugs* have fun mascoting tmr!

mental note to self: buy eyeliner and black nail polish.

usually the thicker my eyeliner, the fouler my mood. hohoho.

felki if you're reading this i'm gonna be in ntu tmr i expect a welcoming committee, yeah. hahaha kidding but if i do see you VERY GOOD k.

i should go do work but i don't know what to do.
Posted at 2:27 AM

law med debates was damn funny. i'm glad i went. although-- well, i definitely won;t EVER be able to argue to that extent.

i think it was-- a very striking moment, though-- when one of the audience members challenged the law team and said, "so, you're all going to be robin hoods in future?" and zhengxi raised his hand and then saluted. because it's the truth. and then it brought home to me the whole point that maybe this debate wasn't just all about fun and steel-fist-in-silk-glove jesting. they actually DID feel for these points-- well, some of them. i'm pretty sure some of the rest were jests. HAHA.

"i'm going to tell you a secret about david. david, here, failed anatomy in year one! woul you want to go to a bunch of doctors who failed anatomy and pay so much?"

med speaker: "blah blah and as we can see from Ally McBeal--"
amytan: "omg she just totally destroyed her entire argument"
med speaker: "and don't pretend you don't watch plenty of Gray's too!"

law won, eventually, although at points i think it threatened to get acrid. but medicine won the challenge shield la. and best speaker. but the girl really was good; although i have to say, vishal was pretty damn impressive too.

i'm glad i went, in the end. in more ways than one. and i got to spend time with mabel :)

and the bus ride home was good. not long enough-- i shld have taken 10, i needed the 1h45mins to think. or just-- just dream, and remember.

suddenly-- for no good reason (maybe cos i reread my senior's email, the one that... well. exorcised my ghosts, so to speak)-- i thought, "it's nearing 14th feb".

the last time i saw him. him, as he was. before march 6th 2006.

which brings to mind-- ice cream and revelations. some weeks ago-- ok, actually just last week-- i met up with lennon and went to venezia for ice-cream so that he could fulfill his ny resolution-- to return stuff he borrowed i.e. my animatrix cd from long long long ago. er. hahaha i totally got lost and he had to come pick me up la. omg. ok, sorry, i just NEVER went to venezia in all my hc years!!! argh and it was raining too.

but free ice cream. hehe. yummilicious! i like lemon sorbet.

frivolity aside. one of the things we were talking about-- he asked me if i knew a david from his year, who'd been a councillor as well. i was clueless-- then he said maf chairperson. i didn't recall his facial features-- but in the end it turned out that he was the same councillor that mrs ang had put up a posting about on facebook, the one who had died of colon cancer on 27th october. the mood turned so sombre. lennon said what he'd admired most about david was that he fought all the way to the end, that there was never a moment when he'd given up, that he was strong, that he refused to show weakness.

and-- i just thought of-- well.

is killing yourself a form of escapism? a coward's act? a refusal to face up to reality, a sign of weakness? in comparison to david, maybe jon and ishi would have seemed... wanting. but i cannot help but remember a poem i read some time ago-- i don't rmemeber its exact words, but its gist is not to hate the person because he chose death instead of pointless pain. all life is precious; all choices in that life are... well. all choices regarding whatever they do with that life-- i have to say, none of those choices will appear weak to me.

i'm not putting this well. but i'm trying to say that-- hmms. maybe-- maybe don't think less of someone because they choose a way that some may call an "easy escape". little in life is ever easy, and i think their struggles were just as painful, just as agonised, just as brave.

703 days and counting.

i think it's time you let me know
i'm just your latest mistake
Posted at 1:59 AM

woke up this morning with your song in my head
snatches of lyrics that shrouded my bed
dream-like you snared me in your haunting refrain
enfolded, i'm lost in your mystery again

all that i want is a way out to you
a slender slim chance that i may break through
connection, relation, instead of this cold--
your coolness and silence leaves my mind untold

and yes i am selfish for wanting to own
desiring to possess for myself alone
and yes i am scared for i know what you do
that magic and strangeness that seals me to you--

the timbre and soul in your depths of despair
your sides and aspects tht have led me to care
the way my eyes seek out your shadow and frame
the way your voice changed me-- i will do the same

for even as you give as only you can
thrilling my heart with the medley you wend
each time we connect in our dreams' lonely plane
you take away something of me yet again

and i'd like to think that the magic is true
that it works just as well for me as for you--
because of the beauty of your song in my head
as sad and as lovely as the workings of fate--

i hope you too wake with my song in your head
full of all of the secrets that we have not said
i pray that its rhythm and words will haunt you
the way your song does in all that i do

you always would have been a glorious chartbreaker
but for me, your song is my saddest heartbreaker


i flipped through an old notebook a few days back and found the above. itmakes little sense-- i think a sign of what i was feeling at that time, probably. hehe. it wasn't all that long ago either-- i was 17 when i wrote that.

then again, i'm almost 20. dear gods. *curses*
Posted at 8:23 AM

let's turn this dancefloor into our own little nasty world

okay. i know. i KNOW, already. stop staring daggers at me xf abby jn. hehehe. but eh what can i say the music was good and i wanted to dance and it was fairly clear that everyone was just standing around refusing to move to EVENTUALLY -someone- had to start dancing. hehehe. sorry for making your hall people think you have weird friends, ning, but-- er-- that's the truth. so they might as well find out :D

thanks for teaching us how to stand like models, though. HAHA i agree it was HARD. AND impossible to balance.

anyway! so yesterday was blackjack night-- ning's dnd bash at dxo. that, my loves, has got to be our favourite haunt. why do we keep returning to it???? oh and guess what abby was 2.5 hours late. nearly 3. because she, being the brilliant paris hilton fan that she is, stood for 2 hours in GLARING direct sunlight watching boys swim and ended up practically getting a heatstroke. ABBY!!! argh. hahahaha

i met xf at 6 or thereabouts and we were let into dxo by one of the staff-- the existence of whom ning seemed to have difficulty believing in, because she kept asking "whoooo let you in??" and xf had to keep saying "some ren la!!!". hehe. seeing dxo in the bright light of day was an utter eyeopener. it looked more like a meeting place for some grunge garage band than the hedonistic (okay maybe tt applies only when -certain- people go *wink*) dancefloor we're so used to at night. we kept meaning to buy flowers for her, but eventually we forgot. argh. dinner at sakae; then at dxo guess what we got carded. as in, membership cards. HAHA! joy free entry and one-for-one housepours. hehe. big deal i can't drink anyway after ONE housepour yesterday i started my RLH syndrome again. and no, i wasn't drunk, abby, i dance like that all the time. hahahaha. :p

hehe i can't actually remember what ning looked like on the catwalk because i was so busy trying to snap a few decent shots and my camera wasn't cooperating.but she looked gooooood. even without a hairstylist haha. scarless legs. and her outfit was flattering too!! i mean, there's only so many LBDs you can look at before dahling, you just get jee-eh-ded, you know. and i can't believe xf totally realised that one of the contestants wasn't wearing-- um- support. hahahaha. and we concluded, of course, that ning was the best contestant. at least she was memorable-- i really have this impression that all the other girls just looked the same!!! like they'd come out of the same mold or something. and to further reinforce that impression-- so many of their hobbies were "eating and sleeping". like hello??!! that's not a hobby?? totally reminded me of an sms convo xf and i had, over a blog post about mediocre girls who listed "eating and sleeping" as hobbies.

xf: "Rarr. we aren't fated to even meet online. Sob. Haha. Eh yeah that was the one.. it irked me for some reason. haha. maybe cos i love to feast! Haha!"

me: "It made me sad. Rarr. and now i want to get a decent hobby. you know tt "i'd rather die terrified than live forever" nick some 2d person had? Yeah. It's like--a life lived in mediocrity is no life at all. Eeeps. Feasting is the least of it... I think it's like the pop culture clone mindset? Rarr"

xf: "Rarr! makes everyhting sound damn bleak :( but i was thinking like, i can't help it if i'm not like damn passionate about something right?"
"er. haven type finish. my phone hung. but i guess thats what he meant by being mediocre. ok lo. anything lor. rarr. zzz."

me: "but is it-- i don't know, wrong because we're willing to plod along being bleakly bleh abt everything? To be-- content in our apathy? I kinda felt like he did have a bit of a point... If all we've got to live for are mealtimes and msn or facebooking or-- the tyra banks show, or something: if everything is just awesomely awfully superficial and shallow. Won't u wonder what's the whole purpose of waking up then...? But if we don't truly feel passion in the first place we can't fake it or, what, cultivate it anyway right. Damn bleak. Eurgh"

xf: "two words for all that insight.'ya lor'. haha. since i was kinda thinking along those lines too.. and i also suspecy that mediocrity is a fact of life since we can't all be er the opposite of it? Not sth u can really cultivate imo, like you said.."

me: "Yeah. Sigh. But- argh-- doesn;t mean we cannot "rage, rage against the dying of the light". SIGH."

xf: "haha. eh bleak. rarrrrrr.. anyway that made me wonder why people would list something they 'did once in the last 6 months' as a hobby. Zzz."

Back to topic. basically at least for ning's description she talked about her friends, about how she wakeboarded and everything. the rest? REALLY eating and sleeping. even the guys. is it not... cool... to be passionate about something? what a JOKE. then please, let me be damn hot. HAHAHAHA yes i meant that. :P god that reached new depths of low, man.

haha and her "Talent" was quite fun too. the magic trick! the tricky magic trick! damnnnn sly! hahaha but it was refreshing. hehe. and of course the final bit was the sportswear segment. too bad not swimsuit. HAHA!!

but rarrrrrrr she totally should have WON. HUMPHS. nvm still got 90% hehe! eh ning if you're reading this were you the one who commented on the wordpress site? doesn't sound like you. haha. in fact it sounded rather annoying. is someone impersonating you???

then after that we took tons of pictures and i forced them to dance. er. i was all over abby trying to get her high HAHA she's never clubbed with us before!! and because the floor was so empty (the atmosphere was about as hyper as a dead star)we had so much space we could practically (ok i DID) do footwork HAHA and we started twirling everyone around. hehehe

xf i'm proud of you. haha. you led the dance!!! yay. and you've got to admit it was good music at least it's not like on random fridays when they suddenly play something that sounds like it came out of the indian nipple song on youtube. hehe. and of course you had on sexy heels. :D abby let up. i refuse to have to seduce you onto the floor again next time DANCE, already. :D you won't have fun unless you let go! and besides like i said no one there knows you, and no one is going to CARE what you do. so let them look if they want. haha.

ni we missed you. but we have lots of pics, and ning looks goooooooood. as do xf and abby. just cover my face and you'll have perfect pics. jiayou for training. we miss you :(oh we saw kristin too. haha.

oh wells tt was more or less it for dxo. we left early. 8.30am and 9am lectures are no trifling matters hahaha SIGH.

right. pics another time i need to go read now. bahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

don't be so quick to walk away
dance with me
Posted at 2:04 PM

thursday was a HAPPY healthy hearty day :)

nette called me and woke me up so that i wouldn't be tooo late for our ecp outing. we cycled a looong way in the midday sun without sunblock, which was a supremely bad idea. 2 hours in that relentless heat earned us both tremendous sunburns, but the 20km journey was fun if trying. i had practically forgotten how to balance on a bike, but i guess the aphorism is true-- you never forget how to cycle, once you learn. hehe. speed, speed, speed! but my butt hurt. :( and so did my arms. and after that i hurt all over because i was BURNT. oooh and the sky was lovely, as was the sea-- all splashes of liquid gold on baked tarmac and segues of blue and green in turn humming along the coastline, sweeping up against the breakwaters as the high tides took their mark and measure of the seaside. some day even the highest of these breakwaters will not be able to withstand the waters.

slurpee, ice-cream (nette and YES i've paid off my mudpie debt for being late hahha), then a LOT of lime juice and delicious lunch (i coerced her into going to eat brown rice with me. at least, i ate brown rice, and she ate normal food. ban mian?) xf joined me after nette went home, despite the hovering sobering threat of rain and stormclouds that hung heavy over the skies. we went off to ecp once ( which was really extremely deserted on a weekday!-- and outwalked the rain, sitting on a breakwater popping mentos mints and haribo candies (gelatin. none for me :( ) it truly rained everywhere but on our parade of two-- the rain fell as close as a mere 10 metres or so away, judging by the stippled sea, but never directly and fully on us. i buried my feet in the sand and let the cold, cold water run over them; staring out at the sea in that spot, i could almost imagine that i could sail away, that i was surrounded by all the waters of the world. at that one moment-- suddenly it seemed like i could leave, escape. that almost everything was possible.

xf was cold. the winds really were a tad chilly. anyway after that we tried to find a place to sit and eat but gave up after a while since her throat was still achy. since the rain was getting heavier we decided to go.

that was the bulk of thursday. sigh. another day gone, another day closer to school.
Posted at 2:39 AM

i-- we-- feel old.

hahaha. what an epiphany to occur, on the bus.

xf and i were both on our way to gelare's when a group of cch girls boarded the bus and started chatting away. looking at them i suddenly felt a bit bleak. then i stared at xf and said "i feel damn old".

"omg. me too!!"

haha xin ling xiang tong.

when was the last time you wore canvas shoes and watched as they got wet in the rain you were running in, laughing your head off?





the bus was certainly interesting today, though. hehehe. poseur. and i still believe my player is sentient. it played "wait a minute". HAHA.

tump
Posted at 2:22 AM

i -know- i'm mostly a cat person. but there is something about my dog that really does make me adore the fuzzy old beast, chewed-up adidas running shoes or not.

maybe the way he leaps up immediately to greet me when i come home, and even though i have no food in hand he doesn't look -too- upset. or maybe the way he nuzzles up against me when i come back from a run despite the fact that i'm all grimy and sweaty. or maybe just the fact that when i'm feeling my lowest-- or maybe even my pensive best-- i can sit outside with him leaning against my hip as i stare up at the night sky and stroke his fur. he's really getting fuzzier now. well. that's good, right, since then he won't look like a goat anymore. :D

dogs are always there for you. actually i think dogs are maybe a bit like humans, too. we all need a little bit of touch, of contact, of warmth.

although he did abandon me when my parents walked back home with doggy treats and food bags. humphs.

grizzly old doggie. (= but i guess that's another way that dogs are like humans. they leave, alright, for better things. better people.
____________________________________________________________________

this was a little bit of an email i wrote about one of the days overseas. hmms.

"This was during the first stop of my journey, at Hai Kou. That's "sea mouth" in eisenish. Basically throughout Haikou there runs three rivers-- I don't know all their names, but one is known as the "Mother River" because her waters have nourished and fed generations upon generations of Hai Kou daughters and sons for years on years (I am more or less transcribing what my grand-uncle said). You must have taken geography in Dunman, for Sec1 and 2 at least-- do you remember how rivers begin to meander as they reach the open sea? Well, these three rivers meander too; their waters are placid and calm, gentle ripples that bob the boats upon them with quiet wavelets that are more restful than, say, nauseating. And yet-- and yet-- if you were to stand on this tiny little islet-- little more than a strip of sand dividing the confluence of the three rivers from the South China Sea-- you would see this little miracle taking place. On the left, there would be the placid, nurturing waters of the three rivers. On the right, the storm-tossed, tempestuous and violent tantrums of the South China Sea, breaking again and again upon the shingled sand in white-foam-tipped fingers that reach and claw, hungry for victims. The undertow is so wicked that no one is allowed to step into the water.

I stood on that islet of sand and I saw the magic that nature creates, everyday. :D I guess that was a frolic, too, in a way. Hmms. I really hope my memory hasn't played me false and that I didn't write the above in your letter, because it all has a rather familiar ring to it."

suddenly i want to be right next to that sea again. or failing that, at least near a sea, with sand crinkling up under my toes and the warmth of the sun beating down on me. i want to feel the sea's winds-- from as far across the world as right behind me-- in my hair. it probably wouldn't hurt to have my dog with me :)

although knowing him he'd probably leave too. but the sea-- that would be enough. the sea, with all her wild tempestuous storms that answer to no man's hand. the sea, who is all-embracing, accepting, who can be harsh and unforgiving, who can be as gentle as a lover's caress-- and bear none of his infidelity-- who is governed by no laws save that of her own. who is full of soul and heart and emotion, but brooks little hurt that she cannot withstand, and goes on to obliterate even as her waves wipe clean the slates of sand on which we write our broken names.

oh well.

yay abby likes white oleander! :D AND YES SHE ADMITS THAT THE BOOK IS THREE MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN THE MOVIE. yay! :D another janet fitch convert. if only for the first book, at least.

which reminds me. i really ought to buy paint it black, anyway. even if the language is coarser and cruder than in white oleander, it is worth... remembering.

i flipped back through old blog posts and twitter entries today. and i realise-- six months since ishi, almost 2 years since jon. and i remembered a girl who pressed cold fingers against colder glass watching the rain that streaked the window like tears.

where is she now, i wonder? i don't see her-- often-- in the mirror anymore.

ah well. enough weird musing.

touch till you can taste all the time we are wasting
Posted at 12:42 AM

If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive
Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this lie

So look up
Take it away
Don't look da-da-da- down the mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

Well I stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I got a feeling it's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no makebelieving
The sound of the wings of the flight of a dove

Take it away
Don't look da-da-da down the mountain
If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow...

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

So look up
Take it away
Don't look da-da-da- down

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow...

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

Love will come through
Love will come through
Love will come through

________________________________________________________________________
that song is haunting me. or parts of it. or it stays with me.

last week of holidays before it's mad-hectic-mad-hatter rush again. sigh.

read over my letter to xf. and i couldn't help smiling. :) oh wells i'll deliver it to her tmr when i see her. maybe we'll have a gelare feast! if she's feeling well enough, that is.

and i have to say-- i really love my creaturey pals. who else would stay up with me, the night before a school day, all the way up till 4.35am listening to me fuss and worry and make me talk everything out so that i can calm down instead of being an oversensitive paranoid headcase?

erm. although it didn't actually completely work. because i AM an oversensitive paranoid headcase. my eyebags are HUGE because even after that conversation i was still fretting and i simply couldn't get to sleep.

but-- babe-- thank you. ALOT. because otherwise i'll probably be half ready to commit myself to imh.

oh wells i need to go get my specs from far east. THEY'RE LIME GREEN, honey. at least they'll match my shrek earphones. HAHA! maybe i'll go run today too! one can always hope to be healthy :D
Posted at 4:05 PM

la la la la la.

checked my timetable for next sem. eurgh. not too bad. but the 3 hour lectures are DAUNTING.

i must turn over a new leaf, even as i've turned over a fresh page for this blog. wootsy bootsy.

4.30 am! i should get to sleep soon, too. ought to tune my body clock back to normalcy.
Posted at 4:30 AM